Food Cartlandia!

According to Wikipedia, “a food cart is a mobile kitchen that is set up on the street to facilitate the sale and marketing of street food to people from the local pedestrian traffic.”

I had actually never heard of food carts before we moved to the Portland area. The closest I got was “hot dog guy” vendors while occasionally visiting New York City. But in Portland, these food carts are a huge deal. There are blogs and Facebook pages and news stories dedicated to them. In fact, that Wikipedia entry has a paragraph solely about Portland’s food carts…now apparently numbering over 400. I know they are trending in other cities now, too. I had me some pretty tasty crepes out of an Airstream in a gravelly parking lot in Austin, Texas a few years ago. La yee haw!

I have been wanting to immerse myself in Portland’s Food Cart culture for a few years. I have visions of making weekly treks in the summer to scout out different carts for lunch. There are pods of these carts scattered all over the city, so it would also be a great way to scope out some of Portland’s more quirky neighborhoods. Sadly, the furthest I’ve gotten with this dream is repeated visits to The Grilled Cheese Grill and a failed attempt at using a Groupon at PBJ’s (lesson learned: never try to use a Groupon on its expiration date…unless you don’t mind waiting 90 minutes for them to acquire more provisions). Yes, two childhood favorites: grilled cheese and peanut butter and jelly, done fusiony gourmet-style. No word yet on a cart featuring bologna sandwiches on Wonder bread smeared with Miracle Whip.

With this as a backdrop, it should be no surprise that I was logged in and ready to “Submit” the minute tickets went on sale last month for the 5th Annual (where have I been?!?) “Eat Mobile: Portland’s Food Cart Festival.” For one entry price, you freely sample from 50 of Portland’s most popular carts. One-stop-feasting! With more than 3 agonizing months before the County Fair, I was drooling all over this.

Rob urged me to pay a bit more for VIP tickets. They allowed a limited number of folks to enter the Festival an hour early, promising more leisurely sampling and free drinks. I hesitated. I’m a tight-wad. But upon seeing a photo of the dense crowd from last year’s festival, I decided maybe my back would appreciate not being jostled and bumped and mosh-pitted. As it turns out, Rob was right. Not just right, brilliant right. He seems more aware than I am that we are at that age where spending a little more for convenience and comfort is not only worth it, but strongly correlated with having a fabulous, Vicodin-free time. Not to mention, in this case, also accumulating some swag (KEEN back packs and Vitamin Water tasting trays) and the opportunity to discover, for free, that I really am not a fan of the űber-trendy Pabst Blue Ribbon. Why PBR is considered so hip and cool among Portland hipsters remains a mystery to me. I thought perhaps it was the recession-friendly pricing. But even priced at free, I didn't come close to finishing it.

However, the food… THE FOOD…was fantastic!! We ate curry potato chips and a Korean Reuben sandwich and reindeer sausage and basil/pineapple ice cream and sautéed plantains and Greek salad and Italian meatball sandwiches and biscuits and gravy and green chile chili and the Egg McMuffin of sausage waffle mcmuffins. We were gleefully sticky and messy and covered in sauces and condiments.

We were just about done with our first grazing when the doors opened to the masses. Suddenly, lines developed. Really long lines. Really long lines in front of the carts I had asterisked in my notebook with the heading “VISIT AGAIN!!” Apparently we were among the last to know that Flavour Spot (waffles), Shut Up and Eat (Italian comfort food), and Scoop (o.m.g. organic ice cream) are must-eats. And that awfully healthy juices…and I do mean awful…really have no place at a food festival featuring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches stuffed with bacon and jalapenos. And, judging from the instantaneous line, we totally should have tried the Lardo cart featuring “cured fatback, cut from the back of a pig that is kind of like bacon without the meat.” Obviously, word of mouth trumps truth in advertising. “Cured fatback”? Ewww. But I will dutifully be heading to SE 43rd & Belmont in short order to find out why the fascination with fatback.

While finishing our free boxed wine and second round of heavenly waffles, Rob and I sat on some awful chairs under the freeway and observed Portlandia feeding itself. I noted a few things:

1) Portlanders dress in the colors of their surroundings; namely, green, grey, and brown. I was conspicuously colorful and noticeably from across statelines with my red earrings and necklace.

2) I missed the boot memo. Boots, boots, boots, everywhere! And not of the farm and mucking variety.

3) Only in Portland (?) would the trash cans be staffed by a Recycling Nazi making sure you put your refuse in the proper of the three available receptacles.

4) In an interesting cross-promotion, the line to get into sample all the munchies was being worked by a petitioner lobbying to legalize marijuana.

Rob and I agreed The Food Cart Festival was a fantastic outing and one we will absolutely do again. However, we might only go every few years, to increase the variety as the food carts come and go. We will definitely spring for the VIP tickets again, though…and will load up on the free Vitamin Water while skipping the bittery water that is PBR.