Monday, November 12, 2012

Longing for the days when I was the remote control

I had my coat and purse and was ready to head to the car. Then Rob said, "Let me check one more thing." A couple hours later, my unused coat was back in the closet and I was in my pajamas. Rob was still researching.

Since when did buying a television require a master's degree in Wiring and Circuitry? Good grief!

We've been discussing this home improvement project pretty much since the day we moved into Woodhaven. There's a large alcove in the living room begging for a built-in entertainment center. We stashed our corner-cabinet TV armoire in one corner and the heavy oak stereo stand Rob had in his bedroom in the '80s in the other and assumed this mish-mashed "Early Married" interior design was temporary. And indeed it was, if you consider eight years temporary.


The entertainment credenza will be installed in a few weeks, so we figured it was time to jump on some Pre-Black-Friday/Veteran's Day/We Want Your Money Now Not Later sales. Consulting Google, Amazon, and Consumer Reports and chatting up a friendly young guy in a blue shirt at a big box electronics store, we had pretty much decided on the size, brand, and type of new television that will bring our living room screeching into the 21st Century. We just needed to decide how many extra gadgets and fancy features to add to it. Hence last night's extended and ultimately annoying research.

3D? Why would we need to watch television in three dimensions? I'm one eye appointment away from getting bifocals. That seems plenty enough eye correction for "Dancing with the Stars." Nix the 3D, sticking with 2D.

A "Smart TV" with built-in Internet connectivity? We still have flip phones with no data plan. We purposefully don't want to be that connected. A "Dumb TV" is just fine.

"Wifi ready" will allow us to watch Netflix movies instantly instead of on the old fashioned DVDs they send out (for now) upon request. That's pretty cool. But it seems we would need to buy an adapter of some sort. The adapter plus the added "Wifi ready" feature cost more than a new Blue Ray player that would allow us to do the same thing. Rob suggests we need this new player but I'm still unclear what part is blue, what type of rays it emits, and if the rays are safe for the cats. But apparently movie formats are moving away from regular DVD to this Blue Ray thing in much the same way VHS replaced Betamax. With that analogy and memories of carefully recorded but quickly useless Betamax tapes of "Facts of Life" episodes, I was onboard.

OK, so a basic modern TV with a new Blue Ray dealy-bob so that we can watch documentaries about paper clips on a whim. Let's head to the car!

Not so fast. We still have the speaker issue.

I don't understand why it is completely accepted and expected to spend hundreds of dollars on a huge TV with sound that sucks. Why can't these fancy TVs come with decent speakers? So, fine, we will get some speakers. But naturally, it's not that easy.

You can't just get speakers and plug them into the back of the TV because, well, the plugs don't fit. Something about analog and digital and input and output. RCA this and L/R that and then something about HDMI. And yes, adapters and converters exist but then we'd need an amplifier to be able to have more than one volume setting. I have to admit, I don't really know what an amplifier is. I know we have a receiver. I know because I bought it in 1989 and brought it to the marriage. It's right over there. But apparently its connectors and functions are all wrong and our new TV will laugh condescendingly at its desire to be connected to a cassette tape deck (it's right over there, too). So in order to actually listen to our new hi-tech television, we will need to buy new speakers, a converter, and an amplifier?? Explain to me again why today's televisions can't come equipped with decent speakers much like cars come equipped with decent steering wheels? It's a conspiracy, I tell ya.

More research ensued and resulted in the discovery of an easy sound solution for twice the price of a modest pair of speakers we were eyeing. Three hours, 9 browser windows, and 4 Tylenol later, we deemed it worth it.

OK, so, basic modern TV, Blue Ray player, and a fancypants speaker with digital audio input. Let's go!

Nope. What about the DVR? You know, the thing that allows me to record "The Big Bang Theory" while watching increasingly predictable episodes of "Breaking Amish"? Our old DVR won't connect to our new TV (wrong plug again), plus the new TV will have High Definition and that needs a different satellite box thingy. Guess I will be making a phone call to the satellite people to find out how much that little upgrade is gonna run us.

We haven't purchased anything yet, aside from half of the entertainment credenza that has yet to be installed. The entertainment credenza that was carefully designed to neatly house all the components and gadgets that we will apparently be replacing. Sigh.

I am tempted to toss all my product spec sheets in the recycling bin and stick with our 10-year-old bulky tubed television. But apparently screen size proportion something or other has changed, too. So I am looking forward to getting a modern TV that will allow me to see more than 5.5 days of the 7 day forecast...even if it is as predictable as what is going to happen with those crazy Amish kids.

4 comments:

Byron said...

Just as a point of reference:

I am now a big fan of Marantz, and of the HomeTheater magazine Top Picks section (hometheater.com).

I have a Marantz 7005 receiver to handle all of the AV switching, Tivo Premiere XL, Marantz Blu-Ray, Apple TV and Sony PS3. All of that connects to the receiver and there is a single HDMI cord to my 52" TV that is about 4 years old.

Yes, TV speakers are terrible. A 5.1 or 7.1 speaker set (or even a sound bar) and the Audessy audio configuration tool built into most receivers these days will do a better job, but does cost more money.

I have in-wall speakers. Looking at your alcove, I would think a pair of floor standing speakers and a center channel would work very well in your configuration.

Anywho, that's where I'm at, as a point of reference.

Toni at Woodhaven said...

Byron, if we crash and burn on this, we are seriously going to fly you up here as our AV Tech Consultant. I have to admit, the only capitalized words in your third paragraph that I understand are "I", "All", and "TV".

As for the alcove, it will soon be fitted with a 32" tall credenza with drawers and shelves, so we won't have the ability to use floor standing speakers. Right now, we are looking at what is basically a sound bar...with the now-critical digital audio input.

Toni at Woodhaven said...

OK, I just looked up "Marantz 7005" on Amazon. My ouchy head!! It kinda sounds like I am supposed to turn my TV into a really big computer? I am so not techy anymore!! I remember when I used to be "in the know" with technology. Then I left the Bay Area and it's been (blissful?) ignorance ever since. :-)

Byron said...

Well, this summer I set my parents up with this:

http://www.hometheater.com/content/denon-avr-1612-av-receiver

The best part? There are 4 buttons on the front and on the remote that change everything to do what you want in 1 press.

One button for disks. One button for TV. One button for Radio, and one for iPod. Easy. And easy to configure the first time.

But the idea here is that you have an audio/video "switch" (the receiver) that everything plugs in to. All of the inputs (tivo, cable box, game console, disk player, etc) and all of the outputs (tv, speakers). Then, you use only the receiver remote to decide what you want to do (watch tv) etc.

The Marantz I have can do a lot, and I don't use any of the network stuff except for firmware updates. I like it because it has excellent sound and plenty of inputs and outputs.