For eyes

I started wearing glasses in 6th grade. It really wasn't that much of a surprise since both my parents wore glasses pretty young.

I remember being offered the chance to wear hard contact lenses for awhile which would correct something (I can't remember if it was my near-sightedness or my astigmatism). The doctor sent me home with the foreign objects and I remember sitting on our green 1972-ish couch, moving my head around, feeling the itchy weight of the lenses hanging on my eyeballs. It was with some relief and excitement that I proclaimed the lenses impossible to wear. I was going to get glasses!

I had a lot of fun picking out my frames, imagining that somehow a new look would transform my 12-year-old awkwardness. It was 1980, so I literally had rose colored glasses. The frames were light pink-ish purpley plastic and the lenses were blushing. Oh, and they were huge.

1980 ~ 6th grade came with glasses AND a cast.  Note the groovy chair.

I really liked my glasses until one day when I was walking between Literature and Science. The sun cast my shadow on a building. My huge, dark glasses were all that I saw -- which took some doing considering the explosion of thick hair that wasn't really being contained in barrettes. I remember thinking I looked like Helen Keller. Suddenly I hated my glasses.

It took several years to talk my parents into letting me wear soft contact lenses. But once I got them, it is nearly impossible to find a picture of me wearing my glasses. I wore them so infrequently, I kept the pastel frames all the way into college. Finally, sometime around being legal to drink pina coladas, I got my second set of frames.

Feeling all adult and slightly fashionable, I was excited to pick out red and black metal frames. I tried really hard not to wear them only when I was wearing red and black outfits. But when I did do the matchy matchy, I thought I looked very sophisticated. I didn't remember until I went searching for photos (again, a bit hard to find) that the frames were actually bigger than the first pair. Yikes.

Thanksgiving 1990 ~ out of college and not yet married (barely)

As we entered a new century, I realized I had good vision insurance and decided to shake things up with some smaller frames that rested on my cheek bones instead of smothering them. I liked my new glasses so much, I started wearing them on weekends and Casual Fridays. They were vastly more time efficient than all the solutions and rubbing and enzyming that defined the world of soft contacts. As my career and business travel kicked into high gear, my glasses got a fair amount of use.

November 2000 ~ Right before my career came to a screeching halt

In 2004, we sort of hit Reset on our lives and moved to the Portland area where we were unknown and unemployed. As we started to build a life here and more confidently own the Retired label, I put myself through something of a make-over. My dedication to watching "What Not to Wear" finally sunk in and I realized I needed to ditch the elastic waisted pants and oversized sweatshirts that saw me through two back surgeries and their accompanying braces and other bulky accessories.  Glasses were part of the new package.

It took several attempts, adjustments, and returns to finally settle on a pair of bronze metal frames with a slightly retro cat-eye shape. I started wearing my glasses so often, people at church would sort of do a double-take on the occasional Sunday I wore my contacts.

I wore my glasses so much, I realized it was cheaper to buy disposable one-day contacts whose 1-year supply actually lasted me two years. I also found myself wearing my glasses anytime I knew I was going to do a lot of reading. My eyes have been loudly hinting for several years that bifocals are looming. My arms are now just barely long enough to read if I am wearing my contacts.

2012 ~ roller derby fun in Portland

With all the use, the bronzy coating started chipping away. So I recently decided it was time for some new frames once again. 

I really wanted something bold and striking, but nothing looked good on me. All the hipster frames overwhelmed my face. I was also somewhat limited by the self-imposed requirement that I be able to cheat and look under my glasses so I can read without removing my frames.

I was a bit disappointed to find a pair of rather non-descript, half-frameless glasses. They are a little bit bigger and a whole lot lighter than my bronze pair. The prescription changed, too, which resulted in over a week of nausea and aspirin and waning confidence in my optometrist.

But, just as Rob predicted, my eyes finally adjusted to the increased ability to see and I put the headache remedies away.  After wearing my new glasses for several weeks now, they have grown on me and I like them.

2014 ~ my new "grown up" glasses

But wait! There's more!

This time around, we finally discovered the wonders of Costco Optical. My new frames were SO MUCH CHEAPER than what we had been paying in the mall!  So much so, we went back to get Rob some new frames, too.

As Rob was getting measured for the lenses, I amused myself by trying on kids frames from the display nearby. Much to my surprise, they fit. And so much better than many of the adult frames. With the already incredible prices plus a special discount offered that day, I found myself seriously debating between some thick black boys frames and some fun sea-green ones with Hello Kitty on the temples.

"Should a 46-year-old woman really wear Hello Kitty glasses?" I asked both Rob and the measurer.

"You could pull it off," replied Rob who trained me early that he will always give me an honest answer when I ask how something looks on me. The Measurer just smiled.

I debated throughout Rob's entire transaction and finally settled on the little kids version of Retro Buddy Holly Hipster specs. For no good reason other than they are fun and cost less than a couple of Costco-sized boxes of Cliff Bars.

So far I have only worn my Fun Glasses once, to a high school production of "Grease."  It seemed a fitting inauguration.  I will probably wear them anytime we go to Portland...because that's where all the hot chicks wear glasses.

2014 ~  I shall wear these to the library