2014 Fair!!! ~ The Final Recap

I have taken two naps so far today. I couldn't finish my lunch of rice and brocolli. And one of our cats has brought me two of her toys -- I guess she's been lonely. So yep, it appears Fair 2014 is over. Boo hoo.

Once again I had a fantastic, exhausting time. It seems like it was years ago that I was learning how to use my gadgety internet hot spot for my newspaper blogging. And yet I also can't believe the Fair is already done; it just whizzed by.

I think this year was my favorite at the Clark County Fair so far.  Of course, there was the expected food and animals and getting raucous in the Grandstands which I always look forward to.

But this year, I felt even more a part of things.  As everyone is all too aware by now, I had the time of my life working in the Dairy Women Milkshake Barn.  To be a part of that tradition, even just for two hours at a time, was truly an honor.

And I am still riding high on shock and elation of Napoleon rocking the Open Class Llama (or alpaca, as the case may be) Obstacles.  Thank you Lori, Shannon, and Rob for letting me take Napoleon on Saturday.  He did all the hard work and made me look a little less clueless for a few minutes.

This year also provided some really unexpected moments of realizing people I don't know are coming along for the ride with me.  When I lie here writing, I am talking to friends.  I know you, we're buds.  So it is a bit scary but also exciting to realize that there are few of you out there that I don't know yet.  A sincere thank you to those of you who have popped your hand up to let me know you're here, too.

This and that, in no particular order
A handful of things happened during the last 10 days that I didn't write about. So I thought I'd capture some of them here to help extend the Fair just one more day.


Yay technology!
Blogging "live" from the Fair worked really well...eventually. The first couple of days were stressful at moments as trial-and-error taught me where reliable Wifi signal strengths were and weren't. I found I had two favorite blogging places: the shady, breezy area behind the Milkshakes, and the Grandstands. Both were often quiet and cool and always had strong signal strength.

I was really surprised that nobody ever asked me what I was doing when I was sitting there typing on a laptop at the Fair. I certainly felt I looked conspicuously unclear as to how one attends a Fair. People did occasionally do a double take but nobody was curious enough to engage in conversation. I must not look very friendly when I am writing.

I'll get the hang of this eventually
Physically, I did so much better this year than in prior years. The different approach to the newspaper blogging helped a ton with allowing an earlier bed time. Aside from two nights (last night was one of them) where I was crawling into bed at about 5:00am, most nights I was in bed by 1:30am. MUCH better than the 3:00am average last year.

Every night while writing, I also hooked myself up to my "zapper" -- a little medical device like a TENS unit that basically scrambles pain signals to my brain using little zappy electrical currents. I typically only use it when the pain is really bad and when we are traveling (sometimes those overlap).

I also incorporated the routine of taking a shower while Fair Food Feast Parade photos were uploading.  Prior years, I would just lie on the couch and stare sleepily at the screen as photos sloooowly loaded one at a time.

Why in the world didn't I think of these helpful hints before?!  They provided a lot of therapy for my back and kept me from reaching for the Big Guns pain meds until Day 6.  Self, take note for next year, please.


Birds are fine...to a point
Last year, there was an incredibly annoying toy that was being sold near the Church Ladies Pie Booth.  It was a plastic whistle that made bird calls.  It was high-pitched and chirpy and incessant. It got so bad, I started avoiding that area of the Fairgrounds.  That's not good for the other vendors nearby.

Well, hallelujah, the chirpy birds weren't there this year!!  They were replaced by some magnetic rock things that made a staticky buzzing noise when tossed together. Yeah, they made some noise to get your attention, but it easily faded into whitenoise like all good static does.  Yay!

I never noticed anyone buying them, so I have no idea if they will be back or not

I'm getting old...but not as fast as I thought
Despite the better back care this year, I am completely wiped out. And it's not just my back. My legs hurt, my feet hurt, I think I have a blister on my big toe, and my throat is really sore.

But...BUT...I never once took a Tums or Pepto or any other tummy-problems chalky tablet. My system hung tough all Fair and never rebelled on me. Reviewing my Feast Parades, I don't think I went easy on the food so I am now in even more awe of what my body will sometimes let me do to it.

Nevertheless, I am in Recovery Mode through Friday (truly...I have it on my calendar so I don't schedule things other than rest). If you need me, I'll either be on the couch or in bed, hopefully covered in cats.

Ms. Burgers all summer long!!
So I was chatting with the teen cashier at the Burger Buggy while waiting for my Ms. Burger to be prepared. Somewhere in the conversation, she casually mentioned that the Burger Buggy has a small stand at Battle Ground Lake State Park.  WHAT?!?!

YES!  Open just during the summer, the building sells all sorts of fishing gear, sunscreen, lake fun toys, and....my favorite burger at the Fair!!  What is not to love about a hamburger with a slice of deli ham on it?

The Lake stand has been there for over 40 years.  I have been within convenient-enough driving distance for 10 of them and I never knew.  OMG!!!

That's what I'm talking about!

The Fair is a GREAT place to meet new friends!
Remember that guy John who was working the Oregon Mt. Hood Territory booth? He is the one that loves Fairs, too, and rates them based on their food offerings. Yeah, that guy, my deep fried kindred spirit.

Rob and I stopped by the booth several times during the Fair just to chat with John. He is super nice and friendly, and he knows his state and county fairs. Partly because his job takes him there, but also because he has a degree of some sort in Fair and Event Management. I didn't know such a degree existed! Naturally, I am now considering going back to school, just so I can surround myself with fellow Fair Freaks.

Anyway, I plan to tap into John's fair-ly extensive knowledge as Rob and I seriously start planning a Fair Blogging Road Trip. It will be easy to stay in touch with John since we are now Facebook friends. If you know me, you know I am pretty picky about whom I am friends with on Facebook. But after John suggested taking the photo below, I knew he was my people.

Have a great time in Boise, John!  And thanks for the snack!

Carnage and wreckage beyond the Demo Derby
After ten days of the Fair, I am down 5 long fingernails, a pedicure, a bottle of sunscreen, and a reliable camera shutter and zoom.

Note the shutter shadows in the two opposite corners.  And yes, Rob had to help me up from this position.

The fingernails are working on growing back as we speak. I'll get a pedicure sometime this week and file it under the "Post-Fair Self-Care" category. I'll buy a new bottle of SPF 30 when I feel like being outside again (I hear it is hot right now). And Amazon should be delivering my new exact-model replacement camera by the end of the week.  So the carnage should be pieced back together within a week or so.

Fascinatingly, I didn't acquire any chin zits this year. What's up with that?! I even had my tube of Oxy Maximum Strength Vanishing Spot Treatment waiting on the bathroom vanity. It was there all Fair, lonely and untapped.


'80s regression
As I noted on Day 5, my favorite feature of the ToyTopia exhibit was the small collection of vintage arcade games in the back. I admitted I was spending some time playing Pac-Man and Space Invaders.

What I didn't mention was that over the course of the Fair, I was gleeful every time I acquired a quarter, with plans to spend it pretending I was 14 again.

I actually went to some lengths when buying snacks to force the change to include at least one quarter. Now, there was a change machine next to Pac-Man. But it was like this weird regression to my early teens when I would stash quarters for arcade games. Because somehow spending money doesn't count if it is already in coin form.


Mystery shopping at the Fair
Some years back, I used to be a mystery shopper.  I got paid peanuts (almost literally) to pretend to be a cell phone customer or in need of dog food or really craving a Quarter Pounder.  My job was the evaluate and report on service and product quality.  It was a lot of fun but ended up being too much work and driving for so little revenue.  I did get to write off some depreciation of our cars on our taxes, though, so that was cool.

When Queen Missy asked if I was the Mystery Judge for the Fair Court, I actually had an idea what she was talking about.  Just a few days before, my friend Shannon quietly revealed that she was a Mystery Judge for some dairy cows.

Shannon's job was to casually walk through the cow barns and take mental note of herdsmanship. Naturally, I thought this meant she was going to be watching for the cows to be clustered in a herd or something, perhaps involving a cowboy or cowdog.  Herdsmanship actually refers to how well the animals and their stalls are cared for and presented.  Basically, poop is bad; clean and tidy is good.

It sounds sort of fun and I'd love to volunteer, but I'm guessing judges need some sort of experience with cows other than eating them.

Water spill aside, Shannon took this responsibility very seriously.  And she gave me permission to post this cover-blowing picture.

Just in case you didn't think I was keeping track

Of course I am keeping track.

The Final Results
OK, so here are the numbers.

According to my pedometer -- a few days during which it was having issues -- I walked a total of 36.47 miles over the course of the Fair. Moving the decimal, that is an average of 3.65 miles per day. Freakishly consistent, I walked 35.87 miles during Fair 2013.

Among many other things, I inhaled:

• 3 Cokes
• 3 corn dogs
• 3 buttery cobs of corn
• 8 Hawaiian Shaved Ices
• 6 Dairy Women milkshakes
• 2 Jumbo Deluxe elephant ears

With that...and more...I gained a total of 2.6 pounds. Wanna hear something even more ridiculous? That is exactly how much weight I gained last year. I don't get it either. But I am grateful.

So that's that.  My calendar has already been updated with next year's Fair dates (Aug 7-16), and Rob has returned from the grocery store with fruit and veggies and yogurt.  Yay.

361 days to go!