Bringing smiles one little X at a time

A couple of years ago, I attended a seminar where the speaker explained a concept of Big X and Little X.

The idea was that sometimes we do something for someone else that is really not that big of a deal, not much of an imposition, likely something we would have to be reminded we did. To us, a Little X.

But the impact on the person we do it for is huge. It is memorable. It speaks hope and love and care into their lives. It is a very big deal. To them, a Big X.

An example:

Several years ago, during a very busy, stressful, trying-to-hang-on-without-crying-in-public time, my mom – completely out of the blue – sent me a big box of my favorite candy. Attached to it was a note telling me to enjoy it while watching a movie. I know the exact words because I still have that box (empty, duh) and that note sitting prominently on a shelf above my desk.

It was a tiny Little X for my mom to send me that candy for no reason other than she knew I loved it as a kid. She probably has no memory of mailing it.

But for me it was a great Big X because it was the love and support and just-knowing of a mom at just the right time. It came at a time when I felt like I was taking care of a lot of people and there she was, with a box of Hot Tamales, taking care of me.



I have been thinking a lot about Xs the past few months as our church has been doing a series talking about, thinking about, and trying to practice encouragement.

I’ve been told I am a natural encourager. I suppose that could be true, as it didn’t take my handheld texting machine very long to learn I REALLY like the phrase “WHOOOO HOOOOO!!” Within a few weeks, my smartypants phone had added the phrase to its Autocorrect list. Oh to have a pom-pom emoji to go with it!

Over the past several weeks, I have conceded that it is pretty second nature for me to sprinkle little Xs around, give a high five or a word of praise or a perspective of hope to a friend or family member.

But to a stranger? Nope, not so much.

I’m relatively introverted. Stepping outside my safe little unpeopled box and presuming to offer a word – kind or otherwise -- to someone I don’t know is a lot tougher than I wish it were.

But with this recent focus on encouragement – and the encouragement to be intentional about incorporating more of it into my life – I have challenged myself to take my Little Xs outside and boldly speak kindness into the lives of strangers.

It has been a blast.


Blast #1:
One day a few weeks ago, at the end of my sixth or seventh conversation with yet another credit card customer service rep about an issue that was taking far too long to resolve, I told the Citibank lady what I was really thinking.

I told her that of all the reps I had spoken to over the last several weeks, she was the one who tried the hardest to help me. I told her that even though she too wasn’t able to find a solution, I so appreciated that she was sincerely apologetic and shared my frustration. I thanked her for trying so hard and for truly caring.

Stunned silence was followed by words I could hear spoken through an enormous smile and lightly wet eyes.

“You have no idea how much that means to me. You just made my day!”


Blast #2:
Not long after the Fair was over, I started stalking the hysterical Cowgirl that made me and Rob laugh like that uncle in Mary Poppins. Hey, she invited us to stalk her! Sort of.

After talking myself out of it a few times, I finally decided to send Karen a link to the blog I wrote about her show. Yeah, sure, she gets applause and laughter, but words can be encouraging, too, right?

Within just a couple of hours, I got a reply.

“Wow wow wow! Thank you!!!” and “That just made my day!”


Blast #3:
There is an amazing 90-something-year-old woman at our church who has been running the overhead slides since the days they were actually slides. Apparently she used to sit next to the projector and change out transparencies of song lyrics as everyone sang along.

Nowadays, she and her cane steadfastly climb a set of stairs every Sunday to get to the computer containing the PowerPoint files of lyrics. Yep, Margie runs our PowerPoint and is determined to keep doing so as long as she and her cane can get up those carpeted stairs. She is freaking awesome!

As a part of this focus on encouragement, Margie’s fan club wanted to give her something in thanks and awe of the 40+ years she has been our Multi-Media Maven.

Inspired by some corn dog earrings I have (just go with it), I contacted a woman I’ve never met in West Virginia. I explained the situation, provided a photo snagged off the interwebs, and asked if she would be game for making a very special necklace for a very special lady.

What she came up with – on her first and only attempt – blew my mind. Such talent! And such perfectly delicious non-corn-dog goofiness!

Not long after Margie was presented her Projector Pendant, I took a picture of her wearing it and sent it to the lady in West Virginia. I decided she needed to know and see how much joy and laughter and appreciation her silly little necklace generated.

Within hours I got this reply:

“Thank you so much for sharing that with me! That made my day!”


As I reflect on the handful of heartfelt Little X’s I have recently strewn over strangers…and the almost verbatim “That made my day!” reaction I have received in return…it’s pretty obvious that this encouragement thing rocks. There's something magical about speaking genuinely-felt positivity out into the universe. Definitely with people I already know, but in a somehow more profound, more pronounced, more delighting-in-the-unexpected way with strangers.

And so, because there’s really no point in waiting, I am hereby making an August 30th Resolution.

As of today, August 30th, I resolve to stay vigilant about handing out sincere Little Xs to strangers with the hope that at least once per week a stranger says to me, “That made my day!”

And in the process, I'm pretty sure it will make my day, too.