2018 FAIR – Day 7

Ooooh, doggies it was hot today! And speaking of doggies, we didn’t see any in the Dog Barn because the pups were all wisely somewhere else that was air conditioned. Because it was too freakin’ hot. Reportedly about 97 degrees, with a humidity we are not used to. Cue commiserating complaints by all.

We walked around the Fairgrounds veeeerry slowly. We took lots of shade breaks and enjoyed a number of lingering conversations in the Big Air Conditioned Building. Many conversations included shared enthusiasm for the cool rain that might fall on Saturday. Whether it actually stays in the forecast or not, the possibility gave us all some hope to hang onto today as we melted in puddles of grease and sugar.


Speaking of food
Typically I would put this in the Fair Food Feast Parade but one of today’s snacks was so life-changing, it warrants expanded discussion.

After lunch, Rob and I ran into our friend Janice. Janice was happily (almost gleefully) snacking on a caramel apple.

Now, I like caramel apples but I can’t remember the last time I had one. They are such a slobbery, sticky mess to eat. Not to mention the persistent fear that the top heavy treat is going to topple off the tiny stick. And then there’s the disappointment of eating all the caramel off the outside and being left with…an apple. What fun is an apple when you are trying to be bad and unhealthy?

And so, it has been years…if not decades…since I have munched on a caramel apple.

It’s a tad embarrassing to admit it never occurred to me to ask the Caramel Apple Sellers to cut the treat in quarters. That’s what Janice had done and there she was, daintily eating slices of apple covered in caramel, no slobber in sight.

It rocked my world.

With Janice’s permission, Rob and I kidnapped her daughter Allara and headed for the Caramel Apple Seller. When I asked the lady behind the counter if she could please cut the apple into quarters for me, she acted like it was a request she gets all. the. time.

How did I not know this life hack?!?

Allara and I had a hoot eating our apple slices. The caramel was stringy and pully and sticky. It was delicious and just messy enough to be fun but not messy enough to require copious napkins. And there was caramel in every bite. Every bite! No boring, healthy, un-caramelled apple to deal with.

Mind still blown.

We giggled a lot.  Allara is a fun eatin' buddy.   And I'm
not quite as dainty as Janice.  Big surprise.

Speaking of blown minds
We spent some time in the Big Air Conditioned Building today perusing the commercial vendors. You know, the cable providers and fancy knives and beef jerky and special gutters and phenomenal cleaners and all sorts of gadgets guaranteed to relieve any and all sorts of pain. Those guys.

I was catching up to Rob and walked passed one of those booths with smarmy looking men in pointy leather shoes, expensive jeans, and flashy rings hocking magical beauty creams promising to repair years of age spots, wrinkles, sun damage, etc etc.

As I walked by, Smarmy Guy said with a commanding voice, “Ma’am!” as he tried to shove some fountain-of-youth beauty cream at me.

I looked at him and smiled as I said, “No, thanks.”

Looking totally offended and confused, Smarmy Guy challenged me with a loud, “WHY!?” Because I was clearly in desperate need of his product.

“I’m happy just the way I am,” I said as I breezed by.

Apparently he had never heard this retort to his sales pitch. After too long of a silence, I was barely within ear shot of him when I heard him meekly say, “You can use it on your hands!”

Toni: 1.  Smarmy Guy: 0



Where’s a 1979 Caprice when you need one?
The big event of the day was the Demolition Derby. This is traditionally my most favorite Grandstands activity of the Fair. Unfortunately, today’s two shows were just eh. There were some crashes and smoke and one small fire, so it wasn’t a total waste.

Biggest excitement of the derby.  The driver had jumped out
moments before this lit up.

There was some weird event where four trucks followed each other in a circle and barely hit each other. The announcer never explained to the crowd what the objective of that round was…and seemingly didn’t tell the drivers either. It was so boring and pointless, the crowd actually booed when the announcer asked how we liked it. To his credit, he conceded, “I agree.” So whatever it was, I suspect we won’t be seeing it again.

The main round – featuring big, sturdy, American tanks from the ‘70s and ‘80s – had all of four competitors. So disappointing since that round typically has at least double that. I’m fearing that the days of super exciting, hard-hitting, radiator-busting demolition derby might be sputtering a slow death. There’s just not as many of those old sturdy cars around anymore. Today’s cars make popping sounds from airbags deploying and plastic bumpers being rammed, instead of the satisfying crunches of mid-century metal hitting metal. It’s just not the same.

I fear it won’t be too many more years before I start thinking of my beloved Demo Derby in “back in the good ol’ days” terms.




DAILY STATS:

Number of miles walked: 4.2 miles! The highest mileage of the Fair so far this year! At first I was surprised that I walked so much on such a hot day. Then I remembered soooo many trips to acquire cold beverages and the resulting bathroom visits. At least I know I was well-hydrated.

Re-entry hand stamp: A giraffey horse again. On the top of the left hand again. Just like on Day 4. Boring! Sigh. Don’t they know people track this stuff? They do, don’t they? People? Track this stuff?

Earrings: Kettle corn! And not just kettle corn, REAL kettle corn. You might have noticed yesterday that there was a photo of some jewelry making supplies. In the bottom corner of the photo was the bag of kettle corn I have been snacking on since Day 2. Well, inspiration hit a few days ago and I decided to see if I could make some earrings out of my food. Verdict: The homemade earrings worked! They didn’t fall apart and no birds or llamas tried to snack on them. As a bonus, they doubled as an intoxicating perfume of Eau du White Cheddar.

Random freebie: I spun the wheel at the booth for today’s sponsor and won a small beach ball. Later, I acquired a free sample of a pain reliever cream. Guess which one I’ll be using on Monday?

Number of friends we said hi to: 14

Time crawled into bed: 1:58am


FAIR FOOD FEAST PARADE:

Rob estimates he drank a gallon of Smashers today. Between my three Smashers and multiple water bottle refills, I probably matched him. Usually my stomach shuts down when it is hot. As you’ll see, I am dedicated to my craft and rallied despite the heat.

Started Fairing today with a Key Lime La Croix.  It's a new
flavor that I decided a few weeks ago was too sweet, but for
Fairing it is perfect.  I might need to try to finish my pack
before Monday.

We headed straight to Smashers when we arrived.  This is
the ever-tasty Strawberry Mango, complete with happy
photobombers!

Fried chicken!!  In real life, I might have fried two or three
times a year, and hopefully with waffles.  I got two juicy,
delicious pieces from the Lions booth.  I couldn't quite
finish the meat but I ate all the fried skin...because
FAIR!!!

Another favorite milkshake blend:
Strawberry Cookies 'n Cream
SO good!  And slightly crunchy!

Still munching on the kettle corn.  I finally finished it by the
end of the day.  Now the dilemma will be whether to buy
another bag tomorrow for the rest of the Fair, or find
a different snack to tote around for emergencies.

Time to hydrate again!  This is the straight up Mango
Smasher.  It was very tangy and actually tasted a bit
more orange than mango-y.  It was fine but I
decided I like it better as a mix-in with other flavors.

Caramel apple SLICES!!!  OMG!!  Allara, your
mom is a GENIUS!  I shall be revisiting the booth in the
Big Air Conditioned Building again. And again.

Ok, I have eyed this Mexican Corn at the Las Mesitas truck
for several years.  Every year I love the idea cojita cheese
and kicky taco seasoning sprinkled on my corn.  And
every year, I am totally put off by the idea of the cheese
and seasoning adhering to the corn via a slathering
of mayonnaise.  Eeeew, right?  But this year, I decided
I finally needed to try it.  Verdict:  Weird.  The first third
of the cob, I wasn't sure I liked it.  The second third, I
was thinking it wasn't bad.  The last third I was obviously
finishing it and was really enjoying the cheese and spices.
But the mayo...just weird.  I am glad I finally tried
the Mexican Corn but I won't be getting it again.
Unless they start using butter instead of mayo.
Then we can talk.

Patrick's Hawaiian Cafe Yakiboa noodles and chicken
teriyaki.  SO good.  I love the noodles and the chicken
was moist and flavorful.  YUM!

My third Smasher of the day.  NW Berries.  I'm pretty
sure I'm going to go into Smasher Withdrawl on
Monday.

We went back to the new donut stand near the
coffee kiosk and decided to get just a bag of
donuts (no sundae this time).  I also asked
for a side of strawberries.  WINNER!!  I liked
the donuts much better without the ice cream -
I could taste them better and they didn't get cold
and hard.  The strawberries added just a little
more sweetness.  Truly, they need to add this
to their menu.