Maybe the butterflies will be deep fried?

Good grief, I am a bundle of nerves. And I'm embarrassed to say it took until yesterday to realize that the weeks-long bout with nausea and other gastrointestinal issues I was trying to ignore isn't actually stomach cancer. Not that I've seen a doctor or anything. It was a self-diagnosis that seemed to gain more credibility with each panicked thought of trolling WebMD.

As I sat in the passenger seat yesterday and admitted aloud to Rob the fury of butterflies in my stomach, I was stunned to realize how long it has been since I have felt like this. I used to live like this...all anxious and edgy about trying to keep too many balls in the air at once. And often, a number of the balls were ones that I was only somewhat familiar with but still had responsibility for. Trying new things is fun...but also sometimes nerve-wracking.

Apparently it has been a long time since I've tried something new. Or at least tried something I wasn't pretty confident I could handle. And only one thing at a time, please. It's been years since I left the workforce and had to seriously multitask. It was only in no longer having to multitask that I realized I wasn't nearly as good at it as I thought. Yes, I was able to do several things at once but...I came to realize...none of them well. My output and my psyche are much better if I have a singular focus. I wonder if I have always been this way but was too busy to find out?

So what's the source of my meager appetite and dizziness and nausea and perhaps a touch of dehydration? A few smaller things and then one bigger thing.

The small things are: having to re-teach myself -- twice now, thanks to a lemon -- how to set up a new computer with Wi-Fi networking and print drivers and synched mp3s and a 10+ year old Palm Pilot and such. And hosting an annual BBQ for a backyard's worth of friends. And planning a girls' party for late August on a topic I know little about. And becoming the Treasurer of our church at the same time our bank is being bought out (how many times must four people sign a signature card? Don't ask. And don't ask Bonnie at the bank either. She claims to know but she's changed her mind three times so far.). Each one of those projects is very doable and fun, but combined they are bit overwhelming. And then there's this:

I am actually very excited but apparently also tied up in knots over the reality that I am now an official blogger for our local newspaper. Several weeks ago (interesting timing, no?), I got an email from the social media guy at The Columbian. He remembered me from last year's County Fair Adventure. He asked if I would be interested in blogging about the Fair for the newspaper's website this year. I nearly fell off the couch. Of course I said yes! I would be an idiot not to. But the truth is, I am scared out of my mind...or at least my stomach. Despite this blog and some of its topics, I am actually a rather private person. The idea of throwing myself out there to people I don't know makes me, well, panic. Yes, there may be a few readers here whom I don't know (Hi, Carol from Salmon Creek!!) but I am guessing there aren't many. Or hoping? Or fearing? Geez, I'm a mess.

So that's it. The secret to my pre-Fair Weight Loss Plan. I will be blogging about the Fair both on Woodhaven Ramblings as well as on the Columbian's website. Matt said I could post the same blogs both places but I am guessing I will write different things for each. Maybe shorter and more frequent entries on the Columbian? Maybe more photos here? I have no idea and in my more sane moments, I am bouncing out of my seat with excitement to find out. I sure hope the butterflies calm down once the Fair starts, though. I have a lot of eating to do.

If you want to follow along, my blog for the Columbian is called "It's the FAIR!!"

Need. More. Pepto.