Pre-Season Training for the Fair?

We started at 11 and hit 7. By that I mean 11am and 7 7-Eleven stores. I have the empty cups and the tummy ache to prove it. YAY Free Slurpee Day! Some observations from this year’s trek:

• It is way more fun to have company. Last year I trekked alone. This year a friend home from college joined in the adventure. It was great fun to have someone to compare flavors with, chat with, and concede overload with.  I'd say there's a really good chance she will join me again next year except, well...

• Slim Jims aren’t what they used to be. Or, actually, perhaps they are exactly what they’ve always been. But wow, I used to eat those? On purpose? The whole thing? I’m sorry, Robyn. You are a trooper!

• The first ingredient listed for Slim Jims is, surprisingly, beef. The second is, horrifyingly, “mechanically separated chicken.” Whaaaat the heck is that? Wait, don’t answer that. That head-scratcher plus the orange grease oozing from the package plus the not entirely pleasant squishy chewy texture resulted in a childhood memory that really shouldn’t have been revisited. Or introduced. Really, so very sorry, Robyn.

• It took about 3 hours to run the route and about 1 hour to come down from the sugar high. No idea yet on the stomach ache.

• Blue-flavored Slurpees are hard to find. Sadly, they were only offered at our first stop. Had we known we wouldn’t see Blue Raspberry Bubble Gum Something Or Other again, we would have chosen our inaugural Slurpees accordingly. On the other hand, Coke and Cherry flavored Slurpees are standard and abundant and always a safe bet.

• Grape Slurpees stay with you the longest. It’s hard to shake that taste…until you have some Slim Jim. Still trying to find something to shake the Slim Jim afterglow.

• Pina Colada Slurpees are actually quite good. Strawberry Banana tastes like the strawberry-flavored Quik mix I didn’t like as a kid either. Banana by itself is surprisingly slurpable despite my typical avoidance of all things artificially banana flavored. Mountain Dew is not nearly as potent as I expected.

• Five free Slurpees is optimal. Six is pushing it. Seven is not advised, especially when mixed with a Slim Jim.

• Best Way to Join ‘Em if you Can’t Beat ‘Em: The sales guy at the Verizon store next to Stop #5. He came out of his store every time a new car pulled into his parking lot so that he could hand out flyers for a new phone deal. He chatted folks up, talked Slurpees, mentioned last year’s fist fight (huh?), and before we left had at least one trio of Slurpee-toting customers browsing his store, flyers in hand. Brilliant!

• In related news, apparently there is a PlayStation phone?

• Nearly 55 ounces of Slurpee…even if it is free… is perhaps a tad much. Did I mention that already?

Before I slip into an artificially flavored and colored coma, here’s my list of today’s concoctions.  I think I'm set for Slurpees for a spell.

• Stop #1: Cherry and Banana
• Stop #2: Pina Colada and Lemon Crème
• Stop #3: Grape and Coke
• Stop #4: Mountain Dew
• Stop #5: Cherry and Coke (a classic!)
• Stop #6: Cherry and too much Slim Jim
• Stop #7: Strawberry Banana and Lemon Crème