A couple weeks ago, a goat-lovin’, farm-livin’, gets-her-hands-dirty-sort-of-gal friend of mine posted an unexpected yet totally characteristic photo of herself on Instagram. She was wearing a country frock and a bonnet, staring into the camera with purposeful determination and a hint of a smirk. The accompanying description promised more photos and referenced something called the “Target Dress Challenge.” Off to Google I went.
This latest pandemic pastime started in late December thanks to a middle-aged woman in Alabama named Lorca Damon. While
browsing her local Target store, Lorca noticed a display of some godawful, old timey,
shapeless dresses even Laura Ingalls would have balked at.
Lorca posted a photo of the hanging dresses with the caption, “Target has decided if we’re gonna suffer a pandemic, we might as well look like we just lost the farm after locusts ate our crops.”
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| According to the Facebook stat thingy, Lorca's post has been shared over 35,000 times. |
The photo went viral and prompted 9 months of pent up pandemic creativity and punchiness to ooze out into fields and gardens and barns. And onto Facebook and Instagram and Twitter.
Rarely on the leading edge of any trend, I nevertheless determined
it was imperative that I mark this chapter of the pandemic by participating in
the latest Fad of the Minute, having grown disenchanted with Photoshopping bemittened
Bernie Sanders into my favorite sitcoms and iconic moments of history.
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| One, two, tell me who are you?? |
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| Perfectly dressed for the occasion. |
I snatched my pandemic mask and trekked to Target. I fully expected to do the Social Distance Dance around the dress racks as other snarky women swarmed the ugly dresses...assuming any were left.
Color me shocked to discover plenty of dresses available and
not a single other shopper lightly fingering the hideous fabric with visions
of social media posts dancing in her head.
And all the dresses…which looked more like birth-control nightgowns…were on Clearance!! All the fun at half the price?! Do the women in these parts not appreciate the
irony of these dresses? Do they instead
have fashion sense and better things to blow $16 on?
Well, fiddledeedee.
With fitting rooms out of pandemic commission, I gathered a
few dreadful possibilities and stationed myself in front of a mirror next to
the purses and graphic tees.
The sack dresses were all so flowy, I only needed to make
sure they fit on the top. Much to my surprise,
even over a turtleneck and my more sturdy “out in public” bra, the dresses that
fit were all one size smaller than I usually wear. Apparently pioneer women don’t like being constrained.
Finding several compelling contenders…and contemplating accessories…I started texting photos to Rob for input.
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| "The question is, are they returnable?" |
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| "Choose what you want to appear in. And may God have mercy on your soul." |
Back at Woodhaven, I assembled my
props. I am proud…but probably should be
embarrassed…to say that I didn’t have to buy anything except the dress. I did borrow one item from a friend. True to character, he had exactly what I was
hoping for and didn’t ask any questions.
He apparently knows my truth is often stranger than fiction.
It took about a week for Woodhaven’s
weather to be suitable for a photoshoot.
And to convince Rob he wanted to be a part of this little adventure even
just behind the camera. I have seen posts of men hysterically frocked in the
ugly dresses…hairy legs and hairy chests and cans of beer further setting the
scene. I know my husband. I didn’t even hint.
If you Google “Target Dress
Challenge” you will see lots of ridiculously fun photos. If you go to this link, you will even see a
few pix of my goat-lovin’ friend who clued me in to the challenge. As for my contribution to this latest unfurling
of Pandemic Fatigue, I humbly submit the following for your pioneer-inspired pleasure.
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| Self-sufficient and livin' off the land |
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| She's not much of a layer but we keep her because she's cute (referring to the chicken) |
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| Daily chores are so tiresome. We fear Murray has gone dry. |
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| But we haven't! Robert's press has been a godsend in these pandemic times. |
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| Day drinking. Because Pandemic. |
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| 'Merica |
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| I bought my bonnet at an Oregon Trail museum in Missouri. It's surprisingly comfy. |
There were also a couple of other things I noticed along the way...
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| This is what I would look like about 50 pounds and 20 years from now. |
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| The dress is heartbreakingly comfortable. Dang that it's so ugly! The dress even has pockets!!! Using them makes me look like a nice, symmetrical rectangle. |
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| I do in fact have a waist. And untying the bonnet made my chin appear. I also look much more free-wheeling and perhaps a little rebellious with those bonnet straps a-danglin' |
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| Pioneery rifles are super heavy. I needed instruction for how to hold it. And my arms felt too short for shootin' |
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| Winter came quickly this year. |
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| What will we do if the pipes freeze? Do we have pipes in 1871? |
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| If Robert were a hunter, at least we would have pelts. |
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| Blessedly, I knit and just invented a new pattern for a hat. |
1 comment:
Those final snow ones could be further enhanced with be-mittened Bernie! But otherwise, it seems you've met the challenge admirably.
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