Fair Fun 2019 – Day 1

Welcome to Fair 2019!!! We are underway and have the indigestion to prove it!

Rob and I agreed last night that we were going to leave for The Fair at 10:30 this morning. By 10:05 we were dressed, sunscreened, packed, and ready to go. Excited much?? With a couple stops along the way, and respectably long line to get into the parking field, we moseyed through the Green Gate at 11:00am. Let The Fair begin!!

A Zen lesson learned last year, we approached the day without much of a plan. We knew there were people we wanted to see and food we wanted to eat, but otherwise we just let our energy, hunger, and curiosity guide us around the Fairgrounds. It was a lovely day filled with friends, reconnections, people-watching, and a touch of eating.


Not much to buzz about
This year’s Featured Exhibit is a thing called Bug Ology. I’m not a huge fan of bugs, but since they have feet (some even thousands of them), they are inherently more appealing than reptiles. I thus pre-deemed this year’s exhibit a huge improvement over last year’s Creepy Slithery Things offering.

My bad.

Although I didn’t particularly enjoy learning about snakes and such last year, at least there was something to learn. You know, plaques and signs and little wooden cutouts with handles to lift to see if your answer was right. No such educational opportunities with the bugs.

The exhibit had some glass tanks housing crawly things, some of them identified, most of them not. Scattered around were a handful of large fiberglass replicas of caterpillars (Heimlich!) and beetles and spiders that moved if you stood in front of the right sensor. Mildly amusing but mostly confusing since there wasn’t any signage to indicate what we were making move or why.

The whole thing felt like somehow the First Day of the Fair had snuck up on the Bug People and they weren’t quite done getting things set up. There was a stage that looked primed for some sort of educational talk, but nothing to prove it. We ended up asking one of the two Bug Masters about the purpose of the stage and found out there are indeed three shows per day. No idea what about and no guarantee we will find out because honestly, it was taking too much work to try to figure out the point of the exhibit.

The beetle didn't move as far as we could
tell.  Meanwhile, there is a great place there
on the faux rock for a title or a fun fact or something.
You know, some sort of information?
Maybe even of the educational variety?

Next year I shall remember to tote around a clipboard
For Christmas last year, my parents gave me a super fun Fair-oriented t-shirt. I bestowed upon it the honor of being my wardrobe for Opening Day. It ended up being a bit of a weird experience walking around the Fair on Day 1 wearing a shirt that proclaimed me as “OFFICIAL COUNTY FAIR FOOD INSPECTOR.” Because, well, the real ones actually were onsite today, with clipboards and forms and badges. But not t-shirts in 200-point font.

The folks at the food booths knew I wasn’t legit – likely having been recently inspected by legit inspectors -- but judging from the stares of curiosity and granted authority, I clearly appeared to be Somebody Important to most of the random fairgoers in my path. To the point that one woman came up to me and asked me where the cakes were (you know, the cake that her dad entered and he wanted to know what color ribbon he got?). And about a half-dozen other people asked me if the food was checking out ok. They seemed pretty seriously interested in my assessments.

Although I met some very nice people, it was a bit exhausting looking like I was important and knew things. Yes, I will wear the shirt again in future years. I will just be better prepared to answer questions and give recommendations.


The Lost and Found works!
Although I typically wear eyeglasses in my non-Fair life, I break out the disposable contact lenses for Fair Week so that I can wear my non-prescription sunglasses on a whim. I wander in and out of barns and buildings and other dark places too much to want to hassle with switching back and forth with my prescription shades.

My habit (as evidenced in so many food photos) is to plop my sunglasses on top of my baseball hat when I don’t need them on my face. This has worked very well up until today.

As you will read below, I was sporting a fabulously awesome new baseball hat today. It is light and colorful and advertises one of the very best treats at the Fair. However, as I learned the hard way, the material that makes it so light and breathable also makes it a Slip-n-Slide for sunglasses.

Somewhere during the mid-day showers/sunbreaks/grey clouds/maybe-some-blue-sky-peeking-out weather that is no surprise to Pacific Northwesterners during the summer, my beloved sunglasses slinked off my head and landed somewhere that will forever remain a mystery.

I’m guessing at least two hours passed before I realized the specs were gone, because it was that long between sun breaks. Hopeful but unsuccessful, we got in some extra steps retracing our route, ending up at the Lost and Found window.

“No, sorry. We haven’t had any sunglasses turned in yet today. But check back later. You never know.”

That sounded like placating false hope but I thanked the nice lady anyway. I punished myself for losing a not-cheap pair of sunglasses by buying a pair of plastic blue ones for $10 from a vendor near the Church Ladies Pie Booth. Although I wanted to drown my sorrows in strawberry rhubarb pie, I deemed myself unworthy of such a treat for being so irresponsible.  Yes, I can be a pretty strict self-parent.

Rob Googled the “UVA 400” printed on a temple to convince me that my new disposable sunglasses…that I will likely have until I die because who loses cheapo sunglasses?...will actually protect my eyes from harmful rays and won’t in fact give me eyeball cancer before the end of the Fair.

So I dutifully wore my new blue sunglasses, trying to believe they were a smart purchase, and predictably not being able to lose them despite them sliding off my new baseball hat a few times.

Shortly before my dinner feeding, I asked Rob if we could check the Lost and Found one more time. Because the nice lady said to and all.

And would you believe…my not-cheap, well-researched, actually-fit-my-face sunglasses were there in a box with four other wayward pairs?!? Yes, some amazing stranger took the time to pick up my sunglasses and deliver them to the Lost and Found instead of taking them home, giving them to a kid, or leaving them to get stepped on or swept up or rolled over.

Even though the nice young woman letting me paw through the Orphaned Sunglasses Box had nothing to do with finding my shades, I gushed my appreciation to her and asked her to please profusely (yes, I used that word) thank…on behalf of us careless losers…anyone who ever drops something off at her window to be reclaimed.

Thank you, Fair Stranger, for reuniting me with my beloved sunglasses. You rock and you’ve reaffirmed my long-held belief that the people who come to my Fair are good people.

I snapped this photo of Rob and me sitting in the rain, not
realizing I would later use it to help determine the timeline
of when my favorite sunglasses went missing.

The Fair can bring out the teen in all of us
After the 4-H Fashion Revue (CONGRATULATIONS, neighbor Karoline, on your Grand Champion Ribbon!!! Your outfit was adorable and your award well-earned!), Rob and I decided to get early seats for our favorite hypnotist’s show (Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!).

We arrived about a half hour early to discover…to my delight and Rob’s resignation…that an ‘80s cover band was belting out the hits of my high school memories. I tried desperately hard not to do the Middle-Aged Woman Boogie and Head Bob as I walked to our seats to the “We Got The Beat” Go-Go's cover. I sang along to REM’s “The One I Love” and then walked on sunshine to finish the set, smiling with memories of seeing Katrina and her Waves in person my senior year of high school.

I was having a fantastic time, dancing in my seat, clapping along, mouthing all the words. I briefly considered getting the band’s CD before realizing I already had all the original, professional versions on my iPod.

My ‘80s interlude was interrupted by Rob proclaiming, “I’m old.”

“What? Why?”

“Look at the band.”

And he was right. All middle aged, all grey hair, all likely menopausal (well, except for the drummer and electric guitarist). All my age. All having fun. All recapturing a moment of youth. All Fairing quite splendidly. Old? Fine. Fair on!


Dear John…come back!
Dedicated readers will remember that Rob and I have come to know and befriend a guy named John who works a tourism booth at the Fair. We chat with John multiple times each day, his booth conveniently located on the path between our car and the llamas.

Over the years, Rob and I have commiserated with John, shared stories with John, shared food with John. John’s wife – whom we have never met in person -- has shared her mind-blowingly good banana bread and its recipe with us. We are friends, us and John. And Fairing is our one time each year to catch up and chat.

Well, due to circumstances and life, neither John nor his booth are at the Fair this year. BOO! We knew this in advance, but John’s absence was still glaring and disconcerting today. It felt wrong and unFair not to greet John on our way in this morning and recap the day and eats on our way out.

In John’s place is a guy selling solar greenhouses. They look like giant milk jugs. The guy looked bored every time we passed by, perhaps also a little overheated. He looked nice enough, so I suppose Rob and I could go say hi. But he’s not John…not even if he happens to be sharing banana bread.

Sigh.

STATS:

Distance walked: 11,725 steps or 4.8 miles. Yowza!! That might be one of the biggest Fair Walking Days ever! And an explanation why my couch is so dang comfy at the moment.

Number of friends we saw along the way: 39. Another big number and perhaps a record! I especially love that 11 of those were teens from our gig as Youth Group leaders. I never get tired of and never take for granted the honor of a teenager being excited to see me. They truly are some of my favorite people.

Re-entry stamp: A happy, jaunty, dancing pig!

Earrings:  Strawberry milkshakes!

Best Freebie: If you don’t know already, you will soon learn that I am sort of addicted to Smashers. A Smasher is wonderful fruit juice beverage in a variety of flavors that isn’t icky sweet and is very refreshing. They are also huge and healthy enough that I don’t feel overly guilty drinking one or two of them each Fair day. And no, none of this is a paid ad, I promise!

Well, as it happens with me and food providers, Stan the Smashers Man and I have become friends over the years. And today, amongst smiles and greetings and hugs, Stan gifted me one of his new logoed baseball hats. Despite the hat’s aforementioned penchant for stealing sunglasses, I love it! I wore it all day today! I’ll have to decide in the morning, though, if I am going to wear it or my no-longer-lost sunglasses. Because I do not trust myself to wear both. Either way, THANK YOU STAN! I shall wear the hat proudly and often in the non-Fair, non-sunglasses season!

Smasher hat modeled by Arcadia the Alpaca

FAIR FOOD FEAST PARADE:

Since this is Day 1, allow me to take a moment to briefly explain the following photographic display of unabashed gluttony (is there any other type?).

In my normal, non-Fair life, I am a pretty healthy eater. I make good choices, I read labels, I indulge only when a special occasion calls for it. I like salads and low fat and smoothies and Lean Cuisines.

But one time every year – during The Fair – all bets are off. No food rules exist. I allow myself to eat whatever I want without guilt and without a mental tally of calories or fat grams. I eat with gusto to the point of losing track of my consumption. So Rob kindly photographs all that I eat so that in my later years, when my body and GI tract have rebelled against years of occasional abuse, I can look back on these pictures and reminisce about The Good Ol’ Eatin’ Days.

Each Fair Blog will conclude with a Pictorial Parade of what I ate that day. Unless otherwise noted, I finish all that I eat and I don’t share.

Corn dog from Big E's. I loved the batter last
year with the dog being OK not great.  This
year...eh.  I think it might be First Day Learning
Curve.  The dog was still eh but the batter wasn't
as cornbready as I remembered.  This was also
a huge treat to start off with.  I ate about 75%
of it and decided I'd rather save the stomach
space for something more enjoyable.

Stan!!  And my new hat!!  And my most favorite
Strawberry Mango Smasher!  So tangy and delicious!

OMG!!  Best New Food Find so far!  The Real Deal Dole Whip!
There are a few other vendors claiming to sell Dole Whip
but one was a freakish orange color and the other I tried
a few years ago and haven't returned.  Yes, I can hold
a food grudge.  This place, though, is new -- took over
what was an elephant ear stand, near the baked potatoes.
This stand is branded Dole and we spotted Dole mixing
and blending instructions taped to a freezer, so this
is about as legit as you can get.  And it tasted like it!
Can you tell I was just a little excited?  SO much more
convenient than trekking to Disneyland!

Mmmm, roasted corn from Big E's drenched in butter and
salt.  I tried to add parmesan cheese but the dispenser was
clogged and I was hungry.

Drinking my Strawberry Peach Pear Smasher like it's a pipe.
A little less tangy than the Mango blend.  I liked it!

Rob and I were both feeling a little snackish, so we split an
order of our favorite french fries from the Lions Booth.
With ketchup so, you know, we had a fruitegetable to
be all healthyish.

Kid's sized portion of yakisoba noodles from Patrick's Hawaiian
Cafe...doused with sriracha sauce. Very tasty and the veggies
were crunchy.  I decided to get the Kids portion to ease into
my gluttony.  Pacing is everything.

Didn't quite pace myself enough.
The first Gas-X of Fair 2019.

One more snack for the road!  LOVE the white cheddar
kettle corn from the stand with those poor souls who have
to wear overalls and long-sleeved shirts to look old
time country.  I ate about a third of the bag and will be
toting it around for a few days while I munch between feedings.