Airport Anecdotes - Observations and Questions

As of last week, I am more than halfway to the annually required 144 volunteer hours at PDX. The airport has been a fantastic place to escape to while Tim is underway. Except for that day when the airport construction crew was banging and drilling and sawing away an old restroom near my Mobile Information Booth. I was grateful when they took their lunch break. Otherwise, it sounded like a 3-hour root canal.

I have definitely found my place with the Mobile Booth. I love being able to sit or stand as my back demands. I love being post-security where there is more to discuss than the locations of Baggage Claim, Ubers, and rental cars. And I love watching planes taxiing outside huge windows I station myself facing.

PDX is so calm and beautiful and peaceful.
I love hanging out there.

The people watching is awesome, too.

As in real life, I am entertained that I have reached the Age of Invisibility. It amuses me how many people walk directly towards my booth and then veer off at the last minute without saying a word or even acknowledging I’m there. I've quickly learned not to engage people until they are stopped in front of me. Awkward!

It’s amazing how many younger people do not register a middle-aged, white-haired woman sitting in their midst. Recently, a gaggle of 6 teenage boys gathered right behind me, talking about the waterfalls they had visited, completely unaware that they were totally in my personal space. I didn’t dare make a movement, though, as I was enjoying eavesdropping. Even though they parted around me, I’m still pretty sure they have no idea I was there.

Having said all this, people DO chat me up. Mostly bored, on-a-layover people, including the occasional flight attendant or pilot. My mobile booth is plastered with the command to “ASK ME!”  As are my blue Volunteer vest and a button I wear next to my face. Most passengers understand that the intention is to ask me travel- and airport-related questions. But others take it as a personal challenge to be (their definition of) clever. 

And others – and it always surprises me – feel the need to apologize for asking me a question. Many start with “This is a dumb question but…” and it is NEVER a dumb question! And I always tell them that’s why I am there – to answer questions.

So with that, here’s my updated list of questions I have been asked at my Mobile Information Booth:

What is the meaning of life? My answers are either “42” or “Hope” depending on my quick read of the questioner.

How do you keep a turkey in suspense? Asked by a man in his 70s who then stared at me with a smirk and walked away.

What lottery numbers should I play? Correctly guessing he was a Dog Dad, I suggested his dog’s birthday, Flag Day, and 57 for steak sauce. Hey, if you are going to ask me a random question, you are going to get a random answer.

Are you married? Asked by a woman who was traveling with a difficult husband and was looking to offload him, with the full support of her accompanying daughter and son-in-law.

What is your skin care routine? And how old are you? Asked by a kind woman who then told me I needed to be the spokesperson for Olay products. As generous as she was, her gasp at my answer of “58” was a little unsettling.

Shouldn’t he get in trouble? Asked by a tween cheerleader who was doing cartwheels on the tile floor in the middle of the concessions area. She was concerned that her tagging-along brother was also cartwheeling but was not as talented as she was (just ask her). I pointedly replied that I thought all of them should get in trouble since what they were doing was dangerous. The exhausted gaggle of parents was over it and playing on their phones.

What is the square root of pi? The embarrassed wife of the “I’m so clever” husband apologized. I surprised both of them by answering, “1.7 something?”

Can I borrow $20? Asked by an airport employee as he wheeled his garbage cart past me. He didn’t wait for an answer, so I wonder if he asks this question of every Ask Me volunteer he sees.

What kinds of questions do you get asked? Asked by a SkyWest pilot who was killing time. He loved the turkey joke and planned to spring it on his flight crew.

Do you use AI to answer questions? Asked by a fellow Gen Xer. I replied, “No, I’m old school. All my answers come from up here!” as I tapped my white-haired head.

How do I read this paper boarding pass?  What gate am I supposed to go to? The first person who asked this was a young woman in her 20s who sheepishly explained she had never seen a paper boarding pass before. However, many people of all ages ask this. And I don’t blame them. Each airline has their own format and many of the info bits aren’t labeled. I now reassure the unnecessarily embarrassed passengers who ask this that the passes are confusing.

Where can I find...? New additions include toothpaste, a hairbrush, ice cream, headphones, and a steak. I had good answers to all of them except the steak one. Burgers? Absolutely. A steak? I had one guess. I later asked the Volunteer Coordinators. They said that steak isn’t served in the airport because then a steak knife would be required. And steak knife + post-security passenger = why did I bother going through TSA?

 

Your Nearest Exit May Be Behind You

Rob and I are about 5 months into our Airport Volunteer Gig. We are having an absolute BLAST!

PDX has been undergoing massive changes for the past 5ish years. Recently, just about every week (no exaggeration), something is new. Stores close, others open, restrooms change locations, escalators go out of service for upgrades, mass transit stops move. I try to soothe exasperated, confused locals by telling them, “Don’t feel bad! I’m here a lot and I start every shift by walking around to see what’s new.” Talk about a dynamic workplace!

Today, in the wee hours, another huge change happened at PDX: the exits are now totally different. The old way is now closed and the new way is a much shorter walk, assuming you know where you are going. Rob and I aren’t part of the crew today helping passengers find their way out, but we will be soon. We hope today is going well so far!

Last week, Rob and I got a sneak peek at the new exits. Not just a peek, though. We got to saunter through the new exits – on both sides of the airport – many, many, many times. We volunteered to be Mock Passengers for the operations folks to test out the automatic exit doors. It was a hoot!

Super cool photo snagged from an employee
newsletter. Hi, Rob!!

I think the shirts were homemade, 
but I totally want a "Trial Human"
t-shirt. And sticker. And phone case.
Serious swag opportunities here!

About 75ish airport employees signed up to participate. Also onsite were about a half-dozen other Volunteer Information People, two people in wheelchairs, an antsy toddler in a stroller, and at least 6 therapy dogs with their handlers. Our job was to lap around each side of the airport, walking through the new exits at our natural pace, while a bevy of folks with safety vests and clipboards watched, took notes, and made adjustments.

Safety Vest + Clipboard = Life Goals
Please tell me there's a spreadsheet summarizing
the findings.

Some of us were given Test Luggage. This was quite fun…for two laps. The bags were heavy – clearly someone overpacked. After the second lap, I told an organizer I could no longer pull the suitcase (my back was already talking to me). He assured me that it was not a problem and pointed out where I could leave the suitcase. Each subsequent lap, the collection of abandoned bags grew. In all honesty, I felt better knowing I wasn’t the only one wimping out on lugging the luggage.

The Test Bags even had Test Bag
claim stickers on them!

Rob and I started out walking together, but waves of people eventually separated us. I spent several laps chatting with a woman who had just completed her 2 weeks of training for the airport cleaning crew. She was going to be working the 2:30pm to 11:30pm shift each night, with weekends spent catching up with her 14-year-old son. Single parents are exhausted heroes.

I caught up to Rob! LOVE this photo
taken by Mindy, one of our AMAZING
volunteer coordinators!

At one point during our moseying, a soccer ball was thrown into an exit. It was a planned test, to see if the doors responded appropriately (I assume they were supposed to close and not allow any more movement until an Official – not Trial – Human intervened). We were warned this was going to happen. Despite my deft and enviable Wii Fit skills dodging soccer balls, panda heads, and soccer cleats on my TV screen, I was nonetheless grateful my unathletic self was not in the exit when the sports ball arrived. 

(Good Lord -- I just looked it up. Wii Fit was introduced 20 years ago. Man, I'm old. But with excellent balance, thanks to my apparently ancient Wii Fit.)

We got to see some cool stuff under construction!
The Meet & Greet/Waiting Areas have the 
iconic Vintage PDX Carpet!

A Breach was also planned. I’m not sure what that was. I just know I had to stop in place when an alarm sounded. I also know that the Faux Breach on the second set of exit doors never happened since they had an actual problem that was better than any simulation. Thankfully, the two folks in wheelchairs were not stuck between the swinging doors for very long. I was also super impressed there was absolutely zero panic and instead many comments along the lines of “This is why we test the system! Thank you for being here!” PDX ROCKS!

The exit lane with the red X was
inoperable for the rest of the test once the 
wheelchairs got out. 

According to my pedometer, we walked 4 miles for the test (it was a 16,067-step day since I worked a 4-hour volunteer shift in the morning because Tim). During our Sizzle Pie pizza dinner break (thanks, PDX!!), I downloaded a handy tracker app so I could tap my phone’s screen each time I went through the exit. 16 laps for the second half!

Even though it was a long day with almost 7 miles of walking, I had so much fun being a Mock Passenger! The folks who work at PDX take such pride in their work and their workplace. I truly feel honored to be part of the PDXPeople community…AND get to hang out in such a beautiful space.

Truly, if you haven’t flown through Portland’s airport in the past…week...you should! It’s beautiful, it’s calming, it’s fun. And it’s always changing!

This will very likely end up on our
Christmas card this year.

Airport Anecdotes! ~ The MIB and the Mom with Dementia

Welcome to our next installment of Airport Anecdotes!

Rob and I kicked off 2026 with our first “Volunteer Information People” shift of the year last night. While we won’t always be working parallel shifts, I sort of like the idea of a Sunday Evening Date Night at PDX when there isn’t football keeping us glued to our couch. Rob was downstairs in Baggage Claim most of the evening. I tried out a new position upstairs post-security at a Mobile Information Booth (MIB).

The Mobile Information Booth (MIB)

While I was training with Jim, we spent a few minutes with a volunteer who was doing an MIB. She was stationed behind a well-signed roller cart with a tall chair, greeting passengers as they passed through a central point between Concourses D/E and the TSA folks. It looked fun, with a different set of commonly asked questions. Like, “Where can I see some of the original carpet?”

Photo snagged from a training document.

Eager to try this final Information Person position (unless I want to greet International Arrivals, which requires additional training and credentials), I signed up to be all by myself on the other side of the airport. I was a little nervous but mostly excited to see how solo I could really fly.

Mindy and Bri (the volunteer coordinators) did a great job preparing me, confident I was totally ready to handle the MIB.

I was told to expect mostly questions about how to exit the airport – from folks fresh off aircraft. And questions about various concession options – from folks arriving early with time to kill before their flights. Among the questions I was asked last night:

“Where can I get Dramamine for a very sick husband?”

“Where is some good shopping?” (Caliope on Concourse E is my favorite.)

“Are the llamas here?” (Asked three times.)

“Where can I get a beer?” (He didn’t need any more, trust me.)

“Do I have time to eat a pizza before I get my suitcase from Baggage Claim?”

But then there was another category of questions. Questions I hadn’t been warned about. Questions asked in a panic or frustration. Many of them were prompted by a particularly inexpensive but nickel-and-dimey airline cancelling its one flight to Los Angeles. The next LAX-bound flight wasn’t until four days later. Yep, cheap often comes with a cost.

“My flight was cancelled! How do I rent a car without leaving security?!”

“My flight was cancelled! How can I find the cheapest flight to Southern California?!”

“My flight was cancelled! What is happening in LA?!?”

“My flight was cancelled! Where do I pick up the bags I checked through?!”

“My flight has a 3-hour delay and I was given a voucher for food but I don’t know how to use Google Pay!”

“I just got off a flight and I left my purse on the airplane! How do I get it back?!”

In these situations, I realized my job was to be a calm, comforting extra brain that could help them think through the searing heat of panic. I smiled as reassuringly as I could, I told them they weren’t alone, and I gave them clear suggestions.

I introduced one young woman to the wonders of Kayak (a flight search engine). I told the woman with the forgotten purse to return to the gate and talk to the gate agents. I suggested a family could stay at a nearby hotel with a shuttle instead of renting a car and driving in a city they were unfamiliar with. All suggestions they likely would have conjured on their own were they not completely stressed out of their minds.

There were also a few instances where it was clear the passenger just needed someone to talk to. Like the nervous young man who had never been to Portland before. Or the team of college athletes who were bored during a long layover. Or the woman who was so frustrated by the cancellation and needed someone to simply listen and agree it sucked. Although I didn’t solve any of her problems, she later thanked me for being so helpful. Listening can be magical.

Last night might have been an anomaly, with the cancelled flight and other delays. But I really enjoyed the unanticipated job of being calm, steady, and reassuring. And yes, you can totally get that pizza. Just ask for your bag at the Customer Service Desk in Baggage Claim because they will probably pull it off the carousel and store it for you.

So far, the MIB is my favorite.

 

The Mom with Dementia

Just as I was getting ready to move my MIB to its cubby and call it a night, a frantic woman about my age ran up to the cart. I later learned her name is Cassie.

“Hi. I’m trying really hard not to have a panic attack. I’ve lost my mom. And she has dementia.”

It took a bit of effort to piece together the story – with gaps filled in by Rob later.

The gist was that Mom (Katie) had been put on a plane by Daughter 1 in Phoenix. Katie lives near Portland with Daughter 2 (Cassie), who was picking her up. But Katie’s flight arrived early and Cassie wasn’t at the gate to meet Katie in time. Somehow the flight attendants had never gotten word that Katie has dementia and needed an escort off the plane and into the safe hands of Cassie.

This meant that Katie – a woman with dementia who could not be paged because she would not know to respond – was now wandering the airport without any real understanding of her circumstances.

With a mostly-recent photo of Katie snagged from Cassie’s cell phone, and a description from Daughter 1 of what Katie was wearing, the PDX Team launched into action.

The Hunt for Katie took about 45 minutes, 2 concourses, several laps around Baggage Claim, 3 miles of walking, 2 phone calls between me and Rob, 4 updating texts between me and Cassie, the Port Police, and many silent prayers.

I was near Gate B5 when Cassie texted, “We found her!” with a crying emoji.

I hustled down to Baggage Claim and was grateful to find Cassie and Katie reunited. I smiled warmly at Katie and told her it was so nice to meet her. And I hugged Cassie, reminded her she could start breathing now, and waved good-bye as I went in search of Rob so we could head home.

 

 

Introducing Airport Anecdotes!

As Woodhaven Ramblings readers know, Rob and I are part of the highly envied team of volunteers who accompany fluffy therapy llamas to Portland, Oregon’s airport. The unexpected (but increasingly highly anticipated) animals bring distraction, smiles, deep breaths, and good cheer to travelers and airport employees alike. Indeed, some of the llamas' biggest fans are TSA agents. I never get tired of seeing a TSA agent determined to exude an air of authority melt into unguarded fandom while hugging a llama.

As we’ve spent time at PDX, Rob and I started noticing friendly, helpful folks wearing blue jackets and vests scattered all around the airport. Positioned in high-traffic areas, the Blue People are there to answer questions, provide directions, and help make PDX easy to navigate. Yet another reason PDX is one of the very best airports, period.

“We should do that someday! You know, when we retire from our current version of retirement.”

Rob and I asked around and got ourselves on a waiting list with the warning that it can take a few years to get into the Volunteer Information Program (VIP), as the retention rate is very high.

Well…

It turns out that our frolics around PDX with the llamas put us in the “Airport Experience” category of VIP hopefuls. Most people in this category are retired flight attendants, pilots, former airport security people, gate agents, baggage handlers. “Llama Wrangler” is not typical airport work. But since when was Portland – or even me and Rob – typical?

Our unexpected “Airport Experience” status granted us access to the Express Lane to Blue Personhood. In other words, what Rob and I thought would take several years ended up taking a few months. Oops! And WOW!

Live trees! Wood ceiling! Still need to check out
the new Speakeasy upstairs!

Rob and I have been busy getting trained by a slew of mentors. Christine, Jim, Joanne, Tina, Bri, and Mindy have been super helpful touring us around the concourses, explaining Lost & Found procedures, modeling the best ways to explain the locations of Baggage Claim, Uber, and rental cars, and reinforcing the many rules behind our “go lots of places” badges. It has been a firehose of information!

Thanks to scheduling and general impatience, I finished my training and “flew solo” for the first time last night. Rob will likely get his wings in the next week or two. We will then start figuring out what our volunteer schedules will look like, with the hope that we can get shifts at the same time and have our own quirky version of Date Night on a semi-regular basis.

In the midst of our training, it has become obvious that this gig is ripe for fun stories. While many inquiring travelers just want to know where to get their luggage and then find their ride, there are also those oddball situations. Those “didn’t quite think it through” situations. Those “I didn’t see that coming” situations. Those “THIS is why I have a blog” situations.

And so, I am excited to introduce a new and occasional series of blog posts called “Airport Anecdotes!” I have four entries to bring us up to date.

 

The Marine

A young Marine fresh from boot camp came to the Information Booth. He had just arrived and needed to figure out how to get home.

Problem 1: He was surprising his family for Thanksgiving so he couldn’t call them for a ride.

Problem 2: He was 18 years old, so he was too young to rent a car.  Also, not a lot of cash or credit card availability.

Problem 3: The town he lived in was about 200 miles and 4 hours southwest of the airport.

Lots of ground transportation options were explored, the most palatable of which was taking a bus about halfway and then finding an Uber and hoping Mom and Dad would be willing to pay upon his arrival.

Eventually, because the kid was 18 and had like-minded friends ready for adventure, a buddy was contacted and agreed to make the 8-hour round trip to rescue the young recruit.

 

The Lost Grandma

A mom with 3 young children and Grandma arrived in Baggage Claim from Kansas City. They had rented a car through a service called Turo, which is basically an Air B&B for cars. The car is parked in a random spot in Long Term Parking and the customer is given scavenger-hunt-like clues for how to find it. Fun times, especially after a long flight with 3 humans under the age of 5!

Going above and beyond, Rob offered to accompany the group to find their rented minivan. Grandma lagged behind but it was promised she would keep up. Spoiler alert: she did not.

When Rob returned to a public area to retrieve Grandma and escort her to the located minivan, Grandma was nowhere to be found.

Six miles of searching, a dead cell phone battery, two White Courtesy Telephone pages, contact with the Port Police and an Avis ticket counter, and a desperate-not-to-sound-spammy note to a friend in Kansas City via Facebook Messenger finally reunited Grandma with the harried group noshing on Rob-provided snacks in Short Term Parking.

 

The Iceland Air Guy

While hanging out around the Ticketing Hall, a man in his 40s wheeling a large suitcase casually approached us.

“Where is the Iceland Air ticket counter?”

Several hours prior, this would have been an easy question to answer, as Iceland Air had been checking in passengers on Aisle 3. But thanks to slick digital signage, that ticket counter was gone and was now promising the eventual arrival of Hawaiian Air employees to check in lucky duck passengers.

We looked around, verified a proximate airline employee was not Icelandic, and returned to the man who was patiently waiting for guidance. Without any hint of concern or panic, he confirmed he needed to check in for his flight and check his suitcase, as it was clearly much too large to carry on.

“Sir, what time is your flight?”

“2:45”

My watch revealed it was 2:25.

We double checked his boarding pass – and I wanted to double check his pulse. He was FAR too calm and unconcerned that he had arrived at the airport 30 minutes before a flight – and an international one at that – with unrealistic expectations to board an aircraft.

When last we saw him, the passenger no longer bound for Reykjavík was peacefully sitting on a bench next to his suitcase, calling the airline’s Customer Service number for assistance.

 

The Birth Certificates

Three of us Blue People were standing in the Entry Hall among the trees (yes, live trees inside the airport – PDX ROCKS!). A couple in their 40s or 50s approached us. They explained a sister was arriving in about an hour from Phoenix. She was going to get on a flight back to Phoenix less than an hour later. They wanted to know if she would be arriving and departing from the same gate.

After some sleuthing and a visit to the Frontier Ticket Counter, we determined that yes, the arrival and departure would be at the same gate. However, there was still a problem.

The sister was arriving for the sole purpose of picking up original copies of two birth certificates that the wife had clutched against her chest in a folder. The husband and wife did not have clearance to go past security, and the sister would not have time to exit security, retrieve the certificates, go back through security, and get to Gate C16 in time for her flight home.

Fortunately, we had about an hour to come up with a plan.

The good news is, our badges allow us to go in and out of TSA Security without tickets. So, theoretically, one of us could have been shown a photo of the sister and met her at Gate C16 and handed her the documents.

The bad news is, while we can retrieve accidentally left-behind items, we’re not allowed to deliver new items to passengers. You know, security and all.

Thankfully, the TSA agents at PDX are fantastic.

We chatted with an agent who talked with his supervisor. When the sister arrived, she called her brother. She was given instructions where to meet the TSA supervisor post-security who handed her the folder with the birth certificates. Our agent emerged from the secured area with a big smile and a blue latexed hand giving an enthusiastic thumbs up. The couple left the airport grateful, exhausted, and relieved.