According to the guy at the Chevron on Main Street, the duck “…showed up on a Sunday morning and snuggled down in a parking space at the station.”
For four days, the Chevron guy and a few other nearby business owners provided food and water for the duck. Eventually a “Watch for Duck” sign was posted to help protect the duck as it wandered over to the Wells Fargo to make repeated deposits on the lawn.
Eventually, a bank customer mentioned she had a pond on her property that the duck would surely love. With some effort and an empty copy paper box, several unlicensed folks managed to snag the duck out of season and took it to what they assumed was a more proper locale. The next morning, the duck was back at the Chevron, happily quacking its return. Apparently it's on its way to becoming a mascot or Official Station Greeter. I’m very tempted to pay for some over-priced Techron gas just so I can see the duck.
Hey…wait a minute. I wonder if this is a new Chevron marketing strategy? Eileen?
As if the duck story weren’t bemusing enough, today’s “County” section of our more reputable paper had on its front page: “Residents on alert after bear seen.” Best I can figure, this story took place about 10 miles from Woodhaven. Some choice comments:
…17-year-old Jacob is watching for the bear and carrying a 12-gauge shotgun loaded with double-aught buckshot.Double-aught? Aught I know what this means? Aught a 17-year-old boy be packing double-aught anything?
“Until I see him hanging dead in my meat locker, I’ll be looking for him,” Jacob said Wednesday.Jacob has his own meat locker?? Ok, yes, technically so do we, but it came with the house and we use it for wine storage. We thought it was exceedingly novel. Perhaps really not so much. Nevertheless, we fully intend to keep ours bearless.
“It was too dark. I just couldn’t see him good enough to place the shot and drop him.”Official hunter lingo. Or FBI. Six of one….
An officer with the state Department of Fish and Wildlife warns:
“We don’t like people walking around willy nilly in the dark with shotguns.”Undoubtedly a universal preference. Nothing willy or nilly about that.
5 comments:
double-aught is 00 shot. 00 is a shot size. "shot" are those pellets that are loaded into the cartridge and spew out of the tip of the gun when you pull the trigger. According to wikipedia, 00 is 1/3" in diameter and 8 to an ounce.
Willy Nilly? Is that a technical term? And 00 shot is really going to ruin your lunch if it hits you.
So is 00 big or small? Is Jacob serious about this bear or just talking like a big 00 shot?
By the way...there were several letters to the editor a few days ago decrying Jacob's enthusiasm to take down a bear that really wasn't hurting anybody. Apparently the bigger concern is what an angry, wounded bear might do.
re: Ducks @ Chevron
Perhaps they are waiting for a male duck so they can start a "buy one, get one free" campaign. Seems to work for Safeway ;o)
Oooh, a duck-inspired BOGO!! Brilliant! And if the duck couple finds love, Chevron can follow up the campaign with a "Free Duckling with Every Fill-Up" initiative. This might annoy the farm store down the road, but competition is healthy, right?
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