Truly no sarcasm here. I have been eagerly anticipating this envelope for MONTHS! With just a month to go until my eligibility is officially official, the ever-efficient seniors with Real Possibilities are on the ball.
Rob has been getting these envelopes for a few years now. He has refused their quarterly pleas to join their 50+ club and their tantalizing offers of a free duffle bag and a magazine subscription. Something about not agreeing with their lobbying efforts and what exactly will his dues pay for blah blah blah.
Me, I’m all about the discounts. So many discounts! And not just on the first Tuesday of every month (I'm looking at you, Walgreens)!
And that magazine? I’ve seen an issue now and then in my doctor’s office. It’s a pretty interesting read addressing relevant topics like the best Medicare Advantage plans and how to fall without breaking a hip. They also interview people I’ve actually heard of like Michael J. Fox and Carol Burnett. Unlike People magazine whose subscription I abandoned about five years ago. Who exactly is Millie Bobby Brown? And truly, until she got engaged I had never heard of this Meghan Markle gal.
Is my silver hair showing?
So sign me up, AARP! You are my people! And thanks for offering a “family” subscription so I can annoy Rob with his own personalized card free of charge! Those discounts, man. They are AWESOME!
So yeah, I think I am ready to turn 50 in exactly one month. I’ve been practicing saying that age in conversation whenever possible, trying it on and seeing if anyone…especially me…gasps in shock. So far all air intake has been boringly normal.
We will see how I feel in a month, but right now I am excited to jump into the next decade. I’ve loved my 40s so I am hoping my 50s will bring even more of that wonderful, hard-earned peace that comes with starting to see patterns in life and people, in not being as shocked by situations, in having more patience to let life reveal itself, and in using my aging body parts as a legitimate excuse to just chill at home in my recliner instead of having to explain introversion.
I do sort of wonder if ditching the hair dye a year ago has helped me mentally prepare for this society-imposed milestone. A year ago I decided it was OK to look my age…or at least not take bold steps to conceal it. Now, in a month there will be no hiding the number of rings around this tree because I shall be sporting these:
The internet is a glorious thing.
I was grateful to find the blue shirt. Many similar versions proclaimed “All Original Parts.” I have scars and MRIs to prove that ain’t true. I especially like that I can wear that shirt well past next year.
The white shirt bears explanation, unless you knew me in my nifty adolescence.
As teens are wont to do, somewhere in high school I decided to adopt my own little catch phrase. It was the era of “Where’s the beef?” and “Whatchoo talkin’ about Willis?” and “I’m Gumby, dammit!” so I wanted to be uniquely like everyone else.
I eventually landed on “Oh, nifty!” I used it instead of the more timely “tubular” or “rad.” I liked its vintage, wholesome vibe. Given my straight-and-narrow approach to the pressures of high school, a grandmotherly buzzword seemed fitting to complete my All Nerd All the Time image.
Naturally, a sunny personalized California license plate followed. Because, well, Marin County. The O NIFTY-mobile was on the roll!
I slowly grew out of my catch phrase, and my license plate was eventually exchanged for one supporting Yosemite. But when Rob recently pulled “Oh nifty I’m fifty” outta nowhere when I was musing about milestone t-shirt ideas, I knew my teen motto needed to be resurrected.
It took some doing, including purchasing the font replicating what is used on California license plates (it’s called Penitentiary Gothic. Not kidding.). But thanks to Google and Zazzle, I already have my outfit chosen for January 23, 2018.
Bring it on, 50! I’m ready for you!
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