Adios Buenos Aires

Much to Rob’s delight and relief, we are currently in the air above Buenos Aires for our 30+ hours long trek back to Woodhaven.

Although I’m still piecing together how I feel about Argentina’s capital city, Rob is steadfastly not a fan. After only about one hour into a tour of the heavily populated city, Rob was staring wistfully at planes in the sky and doing mental calculations of how many hours until he could bid the city a good-riddance adios.

What left such a bad impression on Rob? Well…pretty much everything.

With 3.5 million residents within the city limits and 14 million in the outskirts, there were people every.where. Cars, motorcycles, buses, taxis, fast-walking pedestrians…Buenos Aires is a packed city on the go, which was a bit of a shock compared to all our other ports, not to mention Woodhaven. As you might have surmised, Rob is not a big city guy.

What put Rob on edge the most was the repeated reminders and warnings to keep our stuff safe, watch out for pick pockets, don’t wear necklaces since they will be snatched off your neck, be careful of taking selfies because your phone could be grabbed right out of your hand, keep nothing in back pockets, don’t let people brush up against you, backpacks are stupid, etc etc etc.

I can’t say I really blame Rob. Our first tour guide painted a pretty paranoid picture. I walked around with my travel purse – the one with a steel cable sewn into its strap and the double-zipper closure – worn diagonally across my chest. I will cut to the punchline right now – all our valuables are coming home with us. Phew!

We spent a day and a half in Buenos Aires. The first day we took two tours. In the morning, we toured the city including the La Boca neighborhood and the La Recoleta Cemetery (I had never heard of either site but apparently both are quite famous). In the evening, we attended a tango show which also included dinner.

The second day – today – we took a river boat cruise along the Tigre Delta north of town. Again, I had never heard of this place, but we needed a way to kill a few hours before heading to the airport for our evening flight.

The river cruise was fine but honestly the most forgettable part of our Buenos Aires adventure. It was mostly a relaxing ride through some islands with houses on them. We don’t know too much about the houses as the English narration had a strong German tinge to it and was difficult to understand.

Regardless, the river jaunt was decidedly better than spending yet 3 more hours in the Buenos Aires airport waiting to check in. As it was, we spent 6 people-watching-hours in the international airport with completely insufficient seating. We are thrilled to finally be making some progress here at 40,000 feet...in seats...with cushions.

Back to our first outing… our tour guide for the morning was brutally honest about Argentina and Buenos Aires. He wove such a dismal tale of crime, corruption, and economic and social instability, I actually wondered if he was really from Chile (Argentina and Chile are bigger rivals than the New England Patriots and everyone else).

Rob’s unfavorable impression of Buenos Aires was further reinforced by stories of the country’s largest zoo closing due to mismanagement and dead animals; Eva Peron’s body actually being stolen and going on a covert European vacay for a couple of decades; a multi-million-dollar, government-backed amusement park that is now closed due to corruption; and wage-fueled protests being everyday occurrences (we saw three), including ones that frequently close the world’s widest street (16 lanes). The current 30% inflation rate and 37% loan interest rate were mere cherries on the top of Rob’s “Buenos Aires Is a Pit” Sundae.

So with all of that, why I am wavering on my assessment of Rob’s newest thumbs-down city?

Well, in the midst of all of the corruption and crime, Buenos Aires is quite beautiful in some parts. Its architecture was heavily influenced by its unabashed copy-catting of all things Paris way back when.

The city has lots of trees (which had to be imported since Buenos Aires is actual in the pampa) and ornate marble buildings. At night it glows with yellow-hued street lamps and cafes filled with people having midnight chats. If you didn’t know to fear it, Buenos Aires could actually be quite seductive.

Speaking of which, the tango show we saw was amazing. Fearing it would be a cheesy tourist trap, it was actually a mesmerizing evening held in a restored art-deco theater with a fantastic meal (more Argentinian meat and wine! WHOO HOO!).

The troupe of dancers was young and nimble and slinky and whipped their knees around in ways that should have required immediate orthoscopic attention. The performance had no speaking; only live music from a string quartet with two accordions crashing the party.

Yet, without words the dancers told a story of love, seduction, adultery, jealousy. It was sort of like “The Nutcracker” but totally not at all. Definitely not an outing for kids. My goodness, the tango is quite sultry! I was so captivated, I only managed to take a few (rather blurry) photos because every time I watched the dancing through my camera’s lens, it broke the spell.

The tango show was sooooo much better than our visit earlier that afternoon to the gritty, warning-laden, crime infested La Boca neighborhood. It is in a bad part of town near an old port and is said to be the birthplace of tango.

Tango was actually first danced between men as they killed time in brothels waiting for the ladies to be available. It then (d)evolved into being danced between men and prostitutes. It only got accepted in high society when the French decided to be rebellious and started dancing it back home after vacations in Argentina.

There are two tiny streets in La Boca which are considered safe for tourists…and that’s only because there are police stationed at either end. The buildings are colorful and apparently iconic. For only $20, you could get a photo with some rough-around-the-edges tango dancers whose fishnet stockings were only a little torn. Needless to say, we declined the multiple offers.

After La Boca, we went to the La Recoleta Cemetery. It is famous because it is where Eva Peron’s body eventually ended up. It is also famous because it’s not a caskets-in-the-ground cemetery. It’s a little mini-city of ornate mausoleums, complete with street names. It was one of the oddest things I have ever seen.

The 1822 cemetery was a fenced in, guarded town of stone, marble, and granite mini-houses and mini-churches. Each structure had an address, windows, and locked doors. Each was inhabited by occupied caskets.

Our tour guide went into unexpectedly graphic detail about how the bodies are prepared and placed in sealed metal containers before being laid to rest in wooden caskets. This is to keep the little City of Death from stinking to high heaven.

I took the requisite photo of Eva Peron’s family mausoleum but really, the whole visit was just weird.

Rob felt a little better about Buenos Aires this morning when we got out into the suburbs a bit for the river cruise. Even so, all the windows had decorative metal bars on first-floor windows, and security cameras and guard huts were common sights. Rob continued to eye overhead air travel.

I guess overall I’d say that Buenos Aires is a nice city under extremely controlled circumstances, like under the watchful eye of police and in tango halls with a hundred other tourists. I’m very happy I got to visit Argentina’s capital…and the tango show will definitely remain a very fond memory. But I’m sort of happy to be in the air heading home, too.

I will undoubtedly post a recap blog at some point soonish. Got three more airports, five time zones, and I-don’t-want-to-think-about-it hours of travel to go first. Oy. But SOOO worth all the amazing once-in-a-lifetime experiences of the past two weeks (PENGUINS!!! GUANACOS!!! CAPE HORN!!!)

Thank you so much for coming along with me on my South American Half-Century Birthday Celebration! Hope you enjoyed the ride…without the benefit of Dramamine.