I'm an introvert and parties are tough

I’ve attended two social celebrations in the last six days. That’s not an insignificant amount of energy, awkward small talk, and “being on” for an introvert. Don’t get me wrong; I quite enjoyed both the retirement party and the wedding. But honestly, all the peopling and “must I mingle?” self-talk was sort of exhausting.

I know today I am supposed to be hanging out with lively Americans, eating cow bits, drinking fermented adult beverages, and waiting for something to catch on fire. But frankly, I’m quite happy sitting alone on our porch watching my partner-in-introversion ride our mower around the pasture in hopes that pyrotechnic-fueled grass fires might flame elsewhere.

Nevertheless, I’m not quite as spent by all the recent socializing as I should be given my history. That’s because I believe I have finally stumbled upon the introvert's #1 Survival Tip for Navigating Parties: Find other introverts, out oneself as an introvert, and discuss introversiony things.

Suggested topics include the relief of finding other introverts to talk with. And how awkward the current situation is. And how awesome cats are. And imminent recharge plans involving pajamas and Netflix. And the brilliance of Susan Cain’s liberating authoratative text called Quiet: The Power of Introverts In a World That Can't Stop Talking.

I first discovered this socializing secret at the retirement party last week, thanks to a 15-year-old fellow introvert who unabashedly expressed her relief that my presence gave her someone to stand with while enduring the torture of an adult chat party. What refreshing self-awareness and honesty! With that, our conversation was off and running with enthusiasm and commiseration.

Before long, a woman in her 40s joined us, sharing the relief and delight of finding her quiet tribe. The 15-year-old’s mom checked in just as a fifth introvert tried to join us. The fifth-wheel lingered briefly and then voluntarily moved on as we all quickly intuited that we were verging on becoming too large a group for meaningful, quiet conversation. Parties of five are for extroverts.

The new party approach worked splendidly at the wedding, too, even though I truly didn’t consciously put it into action. But before I knew it, I was leaning in close with two quiet friends me-too-ing about being quiet and being ok with it and unapologetically looking forward to unpeopled hotel rooms accessorized with pajamas and books.

It was lovely. Both the conversation and the self-acceptance.