The Time for Tim has Come

When we purchased Woodhaven nearly 22 years ago, it came with lots of things I wanted to change. Top of the list: flooring.

From our front door, down a hallway, through our kitchen, and out to the garage runs a cold, hard swath of 1990s tile. Primarily white with swirls of grey and light pink, the achingly dated floor has been hard on my back. And my eyes. But replacing it would be an enormous undertaking. Noisy, disruptive, messy. So we put off doing anything about the floor other than complaining about it. Which was really more my forte than Rob’s.

The tan grout was probably peach
originally. Hello, 1992!

“We’ll replace the floor when we don’t have cats. Because, you know, all the noise would traumatize them.”

It was a very good plan, projecting our trauma onto innocent felines. And it worked for over two decades. But then we had to say goodbye to our beloved Sarah Girl in November. In the midst of the grief, we knew the time for “The Floor Project” had finally arrived. We had planned for it and budgeted for it. But "someday" is a lot less nerve-racking than "now."

We have spent the past several months looking at design drawings, talking to engineers and contractors, and choosing countertops and faucets. Because, as home remodeling projects typically do, the “Floor Project” has mushroomed. Lots of “While We’re At Its” have been added to the list. Mostly involving our kitchen. Because very little has been done to our kitchen since Woodhaven was built in the early 1990s.

This, kids, is an old-timey
contraption called A Trash Compactor.
Before we started reusing our trash
or using it to make worms happy,
we used to smush it down to smelly
bricks. Note: we have no idea if
this unit works, as we have never 
pushed the "ON" button.

We’ve been underway for a few weeks already, mostly focusing on a “While We’re At It” item in our master bathroom. Oh, that’s a fun fact. Did you know that today’s lingo more properly calls it a “primary bathroom”? I guess “master” is politically incorrect now? Thankfully, our contractor is close to our age, so we are struggling with the new – or conceding to the old – terminology together.

We’ve been slowly packing up closets and hutches and taking things off walls. Today a mover came to give us a quote to move 5 pieces of heavy furniture from one room in Woodhaven to another…and then move them back again some glorious day in the future.

We’ve already been trudging upstairs to our guest bedroom for showers, and have frequently announced, “There’s no toilet in there!” when heading to our Master Potty out of habit. My mom is coming over next week to help me pack up the kitchen cabinets, which means I will soon be totally released from having to cook for a good long while! WHOO HOO!!

Still no toilet in there. But hopefully
by next Tuesday!

The inconvenience is about to get REAL.

After next week, we will maintain access to our Master Living Quarters, so we can sleep, shower, and wear different clothes every day. You’re welcome. Doing laundry will be interesting, though, as it will likely involve a tromp across the back yard to enter the laundry room from the garage. It will be odd having to consult the weather forecast in order to do laundry. We won’t really have a place to eat in the house, so take-out dinner or even pizza won’t be an option. And during the day, Woodhaven will likely be rather noisy, at least inside.

So we’re not quite sure what is ahead of us. Do we escape during the day and retreat to Woodhaven each night after the construction folks are gone? Do we hang out outside on sunny days, putting permanent butt prints in our patio chairs while chaos swirls behind us? Do we nomad about to various hotels now and then? Do we camp out on a cruise ship for a spell? Do we move into the break room at the Portland airport and get all 144 annually required volunteer hours before May? How close by do we need to stay in case something goes wrong? Because things always go wrong somehow, sometime during home remodeling projects.

All the uncertainty is both exciting and terrifying. Rob and I aren’t spontaneous people (well, other than getting married after just 9 months of dating). So not having much of a plan, nor the clarity to be able to make one, is very unfamiliar and unsettling territory. I’m trying to focus on this being an opportunity for growth, maturity, and perspective. 

Yeah, I’m rolling my eyes, too.

As the “Floor Project” became the “Floor and Kitchen Project” became the “Floor and Kitchen and Master Sanctuary Project” became the “Floor and Kitchen and Master Sanctuary and Dining Room Project,” Rob and I decided we needed a shorter name for this overwhelming undertaking. So, we named it Tim.

"RUH RUH RUH!"

I anticipate I will be sharing Tim stories – woes and victories – over the coming weeks. Or months. Sigh.

We’ve endured home remodeling projects before, almost all with our favorite Master Contractor, so we have complete confidence that we will love Tim when it is all done. And we also know that Tim will totally stress us out, and we will be painfully longing for our quiet haven as soon as the first tile is broken.

But the Big Prize at the end of Tim? Besides flooring that doesn’t kill my back and a kitchen no longer memorializing the 1900s? KITTENS!

Yes, the adorably fluffy carrot at the end of the Tim Stick is the plan to find a pair of kitties to breathe life and purrs back into Woodhaven again. I can’t wait! 

But first, packing. And chaos. And wine. Probably some wine. And definitely some whine. Stay tuned!