My mystery shoppers

I have a confession to make. I pay someone to shop for me. Well, ok, I’ve only done it twice in 4 years but it still feels a bit extravagant…until I bring the clothes home.

I am a big fan of TLC’s “What Not to Wear.” For the uninitiated, it’s a show where a typically unsuspecting, sometimes defensive fashion “don’t” is nominated by his – or more often her – friends. The schleppy deer in the headlights is whisked off to New York City by two tell-it-like-it-is fashion consultants for a week of brutal honesty, body image realignment, and retail therapy. It’s a make-over show like all others except along the way, viewers get to learn a little about the importance of fit, tailoring, and maximizing your assets while strategically minimizing the parts you constantly fixate on when looking in the mirror.

Towards the end of my career, I think I was doing OK fashion-wise. I had weathered the awkward “just out of college and not a clue how to dress professionally” storm and was advancing towards more classic pieces and a willingness to pay more than $30 for a nice pair of slacks. But then I had two back surgeries, with the accompanying big ol’ fiberglass back-brace, and my fashion quickly devolved into over-sized sweatpants and t-shirts, elastic-waisted shorts, and a completely ignored drawer full of make-up.  And there I wallowed for a good 3-4 years.

Eventually, with a new home state, a new life, and a new perspective on things, I decided my back surgeries were behind me and I needed to get on with things. With gentle but heartfelt encouragement from Rob, I went on a search for my own Clinton and Stacy to help me figure out how to dress my decidedly female body, one very different than the one I had in my teens and early 20s. With some web research, some dumb luck, and a deep breath, I found Missi and Kirsti and my closet is now bursting with happy.

The whole process started with an initial consultation about my lifestyle, my fashion hang-ups, my wishes and hopes, my fears and anxieties. Yes, we were talking about clothes, but as every woman knows, the perfectly fitting outfit can change your entire psychology. So with some hints and insight, I went out shopping and fell flat. Even armed with knowledge, I really do hate shopping for clothes. I am deeply in a rut as to what I notice on the racks, plus it literally is a pain in the back to shimmy in and out of a pile of coordinates. Not to mention the emotional toll of having NOTHING fit right and therefore leaving me with the logical conclusion that my body is horribly misshaped and just plain wrong.

So again with encouragement from Rob (every wife should be so lucky), I have decided twice now to let my much younger fashion consultants shop for me. They take my measurements, write extensive notes on what my closet is lacking, jot down my Visa number, and hit the next big sale at the mall. A week later we reconvene at their boutique so I can do a fashion show of items chosen especially for me. And anything I don't like, they return for me hassle-free. 

We did this today and I have to tell you, every penny of the modest hourly fee is worth it. Every last thing FIT! And it all goes together! And it is stuff I never would have picked on my own.  And the entire “shopping trip” for me took just an hour and a half.  No ego hits, no back pain, no multiple trips out to the floor in search of a different size.  Just a whole pile of clothes that work.

Both times I’ve done this -- this paying for a personal shopper thing -- I’ve been very reluctant, thinking it is a waste of money and something I should be able to do myself. But then I look at all the things I have bought on my own and rarely wear because they really don’t work.  And I remember the agony of unsuccessful shopping trips. And the crushing certainty that I have a body that designers obviously have never conceived existed. When I weigh all that against the euphoria of having several bags of clothes that I can’t wait to wear, I am absolutely certain I have come out ahead.